I receive my benefit payment once a fortnight, so I budget quite fastidiously. It does not take much to create a bit of a bottleneck of who is getting paid first and who can I possibly leave for a fortnight. I am not saying I will not pay bills when due. However it is pretty usual to receive a reminder if you do not pay the bill before the due date. If that happens I usually will ring the company and explain honestly the situation and that I will pay the full amount in however many days.

I have found it to be so beneficial firstly to pay bills generally by the due date. If for some reason I can not pay the full amount I pay a proportion, and contact them to say the rest will be in the next fortnight. I have never incurred late fees or charges as it happens very rarely. I believe to that most companies will understand and see intent to pay.

I used to get very upset and anxious. I would fixate and then I would not be able to phone the company. It could have become a horrible situation. As I do not own a credit card.

I seem to have somehow created this potential situation this fortnight. My internet payment which is done as a direct debit for some reason did not go out on its due date. Of course the money was used as I assumed it had been paid. (Yes I know assume only makes an ass out of u and me) 🤪.

I have been attempting to pay this, again since I do not have a credit card and the call centres can not provide a bank account number or a BSB so I can transfer the money. I have grown frustrated angry and over the situation. My account is due again this week, and I just hope they will take two payments! I have been emailing the company attempting to explain that I have CPTSD and dealing with the call centres every second day for basically 3 weeks has caused huge issues for me, as they can not resolve the issue, even when I provide the reference number. I also can not seem to lodge a complaint or access them through a thing they call toolbox. Go Figure. So whinge over. I owe them $140 at the end of this week.

I have ordered my dogs meat (they eat raw diet) I get 14kgs /30.6lbs which lasts us about 21 days. The meat costs $6perKg/2.2lbs $84 in total plus some lambs frys 2.50each I got 2 so $5 and a bag of dog bones probably $5 So $94 all up.
I also ran out of my LPG (gas/propane) and had to order 2 full bottles 45gk/99lbs I think I pay about $120 a bottle delivered and installed. So $240 due this fortnight.

In total bills for this fortnight will be $474.00 leaving me $104 for the entire fortnight. Not as bad as I had thought. I will have the money to pay everyone fully and still have money for essentials.

In the past I would have made myself very unwell and my anxiety would have run away with me. What I was able to do, and I know I am so very very lucky that I do not have to pay rent or fares, etc. I had been putting some money aside and had a couple of hundred dollars, this was towards costs that I work out for 12 months all my known bills and on last years I usually add an extra 10% to budget for this years. This meant I did have some extra money because off course this fortnight I also needed to buy some pantry staples that had run out.

I was out today and did a rather large pantry shop. I am also fairly certain my next quarterly payment for Rates is due at the end of this month. It will not be as high as normal as I paid extra on it last quarter. This is another thing I will often do with bills such as electricity, and this year with Rates (as it is the first year I was not able to save for the full Rate payment amount and pay only it).

For me a really positve change in the last few months is not getting so distressed when I feel overwhelmed by how many bills I have and costs. To talk to the companies before it becomes a bigger issue. To also when I do have extra money to pay a little more off a regular bill so if I am short the company can see I endevour to pay their bills.

I am thankful that I live in a country that supports people who are unemployed with a monetary payment (as small as it is and as hard for so many to live on).

I am thankful to now be able to manage when speaking to companies generally in a more relaxed and conscience manner. It is something I still struggle with especially with my internet provider call centres. I am still very much a work in progress in regard to my CPTSD.
I am thankful to have found other people who have CPTSD and who share their own experiences through blogging. It really does help to hear and see you are not alone or that unusual.
I am so incredibly thankful for having found a psychologist who has really been able to work with me and I with her, (not always an easy thing to find) who I have had consistently for several years now. Which also makes it a heck of a lot better. My GP who is great and supportive, who says it like it is.
I am also thankful for all the lovely folk I am meeting through this blog. For their stories and comments here and support. What a blessing.

Blessings to you all.

Tazzie