When someone inspires us.

I was very flat when I woke up this morning. I had a appointment with my psychologist via internet and I was supposed to have asked my GP to attend to some paper work for her. I had not. I was so anxious about this yesterday, I ate a full packet of Tim Tams yesterday, and I did not sleep well. I even almost messaged her to say I was not well.

It was good that I did not, and during the sharing of what was happening and why, it became clear, that I was reverting to my childhood and I the adult had given the reins to me the child. It was so good to realise this, and of course my psychologist was fine with the fact I had not seen my GP.

It was so strange to feel I could breathe again. Here was my CPTSD in action trigger, and response. I had totally dissociated. I do not really recall buying the biscuits and eating them.

It was really great to see my progress in being able to identify what had occurred.

I was still feeling somewhat flat after our appointment, and I had shared with my psychologist that I was trying to get back to painting. That there is a wonderful chap called Charlie O’Shields, on his site https://doodlewash.com and he is an artist, and his work and correspondence we have been having has been inspiring me, and motivating me to begin to think about picking up a brush. I had said to my psychologist that i had been sketching a puppy to paint for today’s theme before our appointment and I was involved with it and a tad annoyed that I had to stop.

I was uncertain about continuing and my anxiety began to build, it won’t be any good, you can’t drawer or paint, you are hopeless, you won’t finish it, you won’t put it on the site.
My body began to work against me I began to feel nauseous, and my heart was racing, as I did want to give it a try TODAY! My mind and body seemed to have other ideas.

So instead of letting my anxiety keep mounting and just overwhelming me I went and watered the vegetable garden. I played with the dogs. I laughed at their antics. I fed them, I cooked myself a good healthy meal for dinner. I ate it.

I then sat down and was determined to paint and to post it on Doodlewash community.

The theme for today was a puppy. I used an image as my subject matter. I am overly critical as I did not finish it YET I am actually really chuffed that I did it, you can sort of make out things, and perhaps if I had used a liner to go around the paw and mouth area more so and filled the back of the mouth in black instead of leaving it white, it would be clearer. I didn’t. If I had kept going I would have over thought it. My anxiety was growing again, and I just wanted to get something up. I feel quite ill at ease, sharing this as it is such a personal thing for me. Unlike my photography.

I am proud that I have picked up a paint brush and achieved a sketch of a puppy in watercolours. I keep wanting to add more explanations etc but I am stopping here.

Thank You Charlie O’Shield. https://doodlewash.com/on-the-edge-of-a-dream/ Here is the post Charlie did for the prompt puppy.

Blessings to you all

Tazzie

Dog days Down Under Down Under

Its been a lovely day here in the beautiful Valley I call home. The photographs I have included are not from today, but they sum up all I am talking about.

The dogs and I all slept well and we rose fairly early in comparison of what seems to have become normal. (my medication after almost a year seems to be making me tired).

The dogs had their run.

For new readers I drive my car, and the dogs run up the road and back often with a stop at my neighbour on the hill for me to chat, and our big dogs to play together. Miss Treacle on the other hand my schnauser maltese cross who is 12, gets picked up and cuddled by Peter, and she just adores him.

His wife could not believe it when she saw Treacle in action. If we go up to their home and Peter is not out Miss Treacle will sit at their gate looking for him, and hoping. She cries with excitement when he is home and comes over to give her a cuddle. I swear she pines for him if she does not see him for a few days.

Miss Treacle is in heaven.
Busby and Toby Miss Treacle and Peter

Busby and Toby are bros, and we do believe they are having a bromance. There is much licking and happiness, They run towards each other in ecstasy. When they play it can look really rough, but they are both actually very gentle with each other when they mouth.

Toby is a 2 and adores Busby who is 4, Playing.
Miss Treacle and Toby play too.

Because Toby is a Springer Spaniel he has a soft mouth and is so gentle with Miss Treacle, though if he does get a bit rough with her, she will tell him off in no uncertain terms. He is a young dog, having just turned 2 in December. He has known my guys for most of his life. So he respects them both.

Dogs having fun.

It makes us all smile watching these three get on so well. We have been driving past each other in our cars and Toby has made such a racket that they have had to stop so all three dogs can have a play in the paddock before we each pack up our dogs and head off. It is quite lovely.

The Huon Valley is very dog friendly with most cafes allowing dogs in outside areas, and there are wonderful dog friendly beaches where dogs and owners can swim and run play off lead. Each of the main towns Huonville, Cygnet, Geeveston all have lovely fully fenced off lead dog parks. Thanks to co-operation and fund raising of the Huon Valley Dog group.

Dog Friendly Cafes
Dog Friendly cafes

Dog Friendly Beaches






Having a mental illness such as I have Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD), my dogs are everything to me. They are my world, and if it was not for them I can be totally honest and say in my darkest days, I would have made a decision that I know would have been the worst decision I could have. Animals can make such a difference to people with mental illness. I have to get up everyday and feed them, let them out, play with them and cuddle them. Exercise them and keep them in good condition. I may go back to bed as I did in my worst days but I had got up..had some food and cared for my dogs.



My dogs know me warts and all. Miss Treacle is like my angel, when I am getting angry she will come and sit on my lap and push her body into me, she will try to nuzzle me and get me to make eye contact with her. She hates me on the telephone, as that is where she has seen me at my worst in anger. If I am getting frustrated with other drivers she leans into me. Yet even with all of this she loves me unconditionally.

Busby is my protector who is frightened of metal on metal noises, scraping chairs, wind, rain, thunder and lightning. We were out walking at Triabunna (a seaside town on the east coast, about an hour away, north of Hobart and a massive storm hit with wind hail thunder and lightning. It was horrendous, and understandably he has been frightened of these ever since. I had to pick up Miss Treacle, and poor Busby just tried to run off, I nearly dropped Miss Treacle, and dropped his lead, but somehow did not. I could not just stand there, with no protection. So we had to try and get to the car, about 100meters away. Needless to say we were all shaken up by this. My big gentle boy(41kgs/90lbs) now tries to climb up on my lap if we have storms and I have to close all the curtains if it is really windy. Which it often is as we live in the roaring forties.

So my dogs are my family, they are my constant companions. I have huge anxiety and panic attacks if I have to leave them at home, or it is too hot to take them with me. I have cancelled appointments and not gone to things because I have been to overwhelmed to leave them.

I make no apologies for this.

blessings Tazzie.

Summer Time

Thanks everyone for kind thoughts after my we fall yesterday. No problems after a good sleep.

What a day, the smoke from the Victorian and NSW fires have made it across Bass Strait. It has been cloudy and hot so the smoke is sitting about. I went to Huonville today to get some bones for my guys. Huonville is the largest town in the valley.



I had made sure that the smoke was not from anywhere close even though we do still have fires in the north east of the state in the Fingal area. I checked the Tasmanian Fire Services website. It was interesting in town as quite a few folk were concerned we are all still reactive after our fires from last year. My heart aches for those on the mainland.

It was busy in town. I took the dogs to one of my favourite cafes for a coffee. Most in the area are dog friendly which is brilliant. I obviously was not the only person with that idea.

My guys saying hi to other cafe society Dogs.

It was so hot people were out by the river everywhere, it was great to see.



We headed home stopping for cherries! The cherries were late this season. They are so worth the wait!

Tazzie

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