Down the rabbit hole

Prime Minister Scott Morrison (Scomo) gave a speech this morning (10/03/2020) to business people. I am not too sure how many small and self employed businesses might have been represented. What I heard him say was that businesses should think about continuing to pay any casual employee who is forced to isolate.

What a very bizarre thing to say. I can not imagine many businesses that can afford to pay casuals, casual rates whilst they are isolated.

The reality is that casual rates are higher and this is to cover sick leave and holiday pay.

He never really mentioned the health and concerns for the people impacted already by the deaths or illness, or isolation. Nor did he actually tell us what OUR Government is going to do to help the people. Nor did I hear and I may have missed if he did mention if people used holiday and sick leave it was still going to cost businesses. Now sick leave is there for the very reason you are sick. So USE it if you are, but if you are in isolation are YOU SICK? Holidays will cost your employer more money.

A day or two ago he did or some representative suggested people buy extra food items each week. (me I think I will stock up on chocolate. Fruit and nut that is dairy, protein (nuts) sugar, fruit fibre, Some of the new salt cracker with chocolate. Well I cant get toilet paper… lol. If only chocolate was still wrapped in paper I could use that in an emergency but my septic system would not like the plastic

It seems that now with Qantas impacted due I imagine to peoples fears and the risks inherent of traveling to so many locations where the virus is spreading.

In a statement, the airline said: “The latest cuts follow the spread of the coronavirus into Europe and North America over the past fortnight, as well as its continued spread through Asia.”

As part of the cutbacks Qantas will:

Ground 38 aircraft, including eight A-380s
Re-route services to London, flying via Perth instead of Singapore
Ask staff to take annual leave and unpaid leave

Qantas CEO Alan Joyce said while redundancies were a last resort, the changes meant about 2,000 jobs were now surplus to requirements.

He also said the senior leadership team will take a pay cut of 30 per cent, in order to “pull every lever that we can to make sure that the group gets through this environment”.

Jetstar will make significant cuts to its international network by suspending flights to Bangkok and reducing flights to Vietnam and Japan by almost half.

Both Qantas and Jetstar’s domestic service reductions will be increased from 3 per cent to 5 per cent.

“This will be a survival of the fittest,” he said.”
I imagine the survival of those 2,000 surplus to requirement staff are not included in that statement. I imagine those surplus to requirement are being notified. I wonder how many of those are casuals? He did not elaborate on the numbers of staff he is expecting to take unpaid leave or holidays, (which is not a saving to any company as in Australia full time and part time staff are paid an extra 17.50% of weekly wage to actually take holidays. On top of their normal pay. So this will actually cost more to the company than if the staff were working.

Australia vulnerable due to high household debts

In Australia the big concern is household debt, which now stands around 120 per cent of GDP and nearly 200 per cent of household incomes, and as the housing market has bounced back in the last few months, individual loans have become even bigger.

Debt killing the economy?

Australian consumers have closed their wallets, and many analysts are pointing the finger at record levels of household debt as the main reason why.

Add that to what is happening overseas, and many are wondering if the world is slowly inching back to conditions like those that led to the global financial crisis.

However, Shane Oliver is not yet unduly concerned.

“If you look at the overall picture I don’t think we have anything like the degree of gearing on the sub-prime mortgage debts that we saw going into the GFC,” he said.

“It’s hard to see a sort of a bubble akin to the US housing bubble like we saw prior to the GFC.”

Shane Oliver does think a good old-fashioned recession is coming, though.

A recession which a ticking debt bomb and the lowest interest rates in history will make worse.

Now the Australian Footy League (AFL) if no large gatherings are allowed they will play games with no people watching. The season starts Thursday 19/03/2020. I can’t imagine how Melbourne people and Tasmanians will survive if they can’t watch their footy at the stadiums.

University of Tasmania is being impacted by the Covid-19

Tasmania’s university was “not making enough progress to be the right size to be sustainable even in the short term”, the vice chancellor told staff in an email
UTAS’s educational offerings would be cut from about 514 degrees and courses to 120 by next year, in an effort to cut costs and “cut through this tangle of complexity”
The university was “over-reliant” on Chinese students — a factor which had backfired in the wake of the coronavirus pandemic, UTAS admitted

National mortgage hotline has been receiving a spike of concerns due to mortgage stress of people, and the Government has requested that the banks go ‘easy’ on the folk who have asked for more time to pay. Interesting as interest rates are at the lowest point they have been in Australia for a long time.

I do hope the banks do heed this as I have been there in needing more time to pay here and there. Thank You Bendigo Bank! (I bank with them and that is all I do not gain anything for saying this). I was honest with them. This was quite some years ago, so I can not say it might happen today.

It is all very interesting and suddenly so many decisions are being made, so it would seem that neither Qantas or the University of Tasmania will be paying casual staff that may be forced into isolation or casual staff at all as they will be the first causalities. My feelings are that if a staff member was exposed to Covid-19 on a flight where you were working it would be compensation. Other wise it would seem from my thoughts which are purely my own, that it would be best to use it as unpaid leave as this way the company would not have to pay you a thing.

Though again my personal feeling would be at a time like this if you asked every staff member if they would prefer to take a pay cut of 30% and keep their jobs it might help everyone. Now instead 2000 surplus to requirement positions means what exactly? I am assuming that no other airline will be looking at employing anyone in this current market. So I am guessing that many will not have much savings and they will be applying for guess what NEWSTART soon to have a name change,(at a huge cost for reprinting of all material I imagine and logos training stuff sigh) Jobseeker payment. Oh how much better.

I can only imagine that there will be many more distressed people with mortgages who will be very distressed and anguished about the possibility of no income to pay their mortgage.

Or rents for that matter. Casual employees who will always be the first to be let go, when businesses no matter what their size are struggling.
I find it interesting that taking holidays was mentioned.

At least the price of petrol is supposed to come down in the near future. Yeah! Oh and I imagine there will be big specials on toilet paper here in Australia in the near future as so many people will have so much in their homes.

The Reserve Bank last week cut the interest rate by 0.25points what worries me more is Donald Trump tweeted how wonderful it was.

Donald J. Trump ✔ @realDonaldTrump · Mar 3, 2020

Australia’s Central Bank cut interest rates and stated it will most likely further ease in order to make up for China’s Coronavirus situation and slowdown. They reduced to 0.5%, a record low. Other countries are doing the same thing, if not more so. Our Federal Reserve has us….

Donald J. Trump ✔ @realDonaldTrump

Mean while back here in OZ

The major Banks lenders were widely expected to hold on to the savings given the dramatically reduced profit margins on home loans. But all major banks have passed the full amount on. SHIT we are heading to a recession!

“The banks are now walking a very fine line and with savings rates already down around 0.10 per cent, they have very little room to move,” comparison site Canstar’s finance expert Steve Mickenbecker said.

“A 0.25 per cent interest rate reduction to the average $400,000 home loan over 30 years could mean monthly principal and interest repayments falling by $56 to $1,794, and an interest saving of $20,249 over the life of the loan.”

Now if I have a mortgage and I could continue to pay the same amount I had been paying before this interest rate cut I would not change it. Because IT woulld save me even more interest and reduce the length of the loan.

It is these times you feel really bad for people who have fixed home loans.

Back to renters, and University of Tasmania. With all the students who have not been able to come to the university there will be a lot of available rentals I imagine in Hobart and Launceston which is a good thing for those people who are living out of their cars and homeless. Oh but wait most of those will not be able to afford the bond or the rent. So will this see more people in mortgage stress. As there investment property may not have any tennants? It is a bit of a vicious circle potentially.

I also noted that in Adelaide people are not eating at the Chinese Markets? Seriously why NOT. Is it like the toilet paper, Oh its because the people there are are Chinese and Covid-19 came from China. I am shaking my head. Do people believe that the people who have these businesses are likely to have Covid-19?

So these poor businesses are struggling for no other reason than they sell Chinese/Asian food and are usually run by Chinese/Asian Australians or immigrants who have lived here for a while. Sigh With that kind of logic I really feel for any person who looks Asian or now will it be Italians will pizzerias and Italian cafes and restaurants be avoided? I bet they have no casual staff at these places working. I bet Scomo they will not be paying these casual workers. They can probably barely afford the rent and overheads.

It was also interesting to see China’s President visit to Wuhan where he spoke with patients, ….via video screen and still with his mask on and when he actually spoke with doctors and army personnel he still had his mask and a good distance between them. Yes all is fine in Wuhan things are returning to normal ‘not’. I also heard that his visit to neighbourhood the residents were moved out and everything was sprayed, again with who knows what. I assume the residents were allowed back in after he left. Caution is a good thing.

How am I a person with CPTSD feeling about all this. Well my medication is working so well, I am OK with it. It may be more that I already live relatively isolated. I only go into town once a week generally unless I have an appointment. Or I absolutely must for something as I had to today to pay my internet (that is another story for another post perhaps).

I also live out of town, my neighbours are far enough away I do not have to fear coughing or sneezing if I sit on my deck. I have always had a pantry and enough meat for my dogs for a month or more in the freezer. Of course there is the concept that what if the power goes down. All that meat will be no good. Not going there. Right now Australia is doing OK. Well except for the loo paper issue we do look like a recession may be on the cards.

It is very unlikely there will be any positives for the budget and I do not see it being in the black after the drought, fires, floods, and now Covid-19 and what economical impact that may have.

We are also coming into Winter, and our normal cold and flu season. There is no use worry for me about any of it. I certainly will not be receiving any help from the Federal Government, I feel for all those who are on Newstart and will potentially be going on it. As casual and seasonal work potentially begins to dry up. As many businesses that rely on tourism and that is a lot down here in Tasmania. May begin to feel the pressure of it all.

I can not imagine how the homeless must feel with no protection from exposure to normal colds and flu let alone to this Covid-19. They also do not have the ability to stock up on anything. If they are on Youth allowance even worse off. They do not have easy access to wash their hands with soap for twenty seconds.
Yet nothing said about them either by Scomo.

blessings to You all Tazzie

March 10, 2020 2

A very personal experience may trigger.

WHilst this post is about cancer,death and funerals and a bit after it also is about life. It is sad sure but it is not all darkness and somberness. For my partner and I were/are not fearful of death. He did not want sombre music we had lovely jazz and if he could have made everyone just wear what they wanted he would have. No suits, no pretension. There was lots of laughter at the afternoon tea.

A few weeks before the Christian celebration known as Christmas 10 years ago my partner went to see his GP. My partner was a pipe and cigarette smoker for many years. He had a cough not surprising for someone who had smoked as much and for so long as he had. X-rays revealed an area on his lungs. A respiratory specialist was contacted and appointment made.

Testing showed that he had been exposed to tuberculosis when he was young and had scarring on his lung. However there were other spots which were cancerous. Only one lung was involved and an operation to remove his lung was being discussed. He was not very willing to give up his pipe. (I will add here that my partner was substantially older than I am). He even asked the specialist when he might be able to smoke again. Understandably the specialist surgeon told him never. My partner was not sure he would be able to abstain.

The above photo is not us but it might have been. I had accepted that him smoking was better than us being apart, as he would have been horrendous according to his children who had experienced his giving up in the past. He smoked when I met him. Part and parcel of whom I fell in love with.

We left the appointment, I made no judgement on his feelings, and the real decisions had to be his alone.

Not saying he did want to know my feelings and concerns, we talked at great length about all that has to go into issues when you have been told you are going to die in a certain period. In reality he really knew I would prefer he did not smoke, but at least it was a pipe and I really did enjoy the aroma. Probably because my father smoked a pipe or cigars at times. As a child I have fond memories of the smell. He was a grown man, he was independent and competent. He had all the information at hand and he was not a fool or unintelligent.

We chatted and he decided to wait to see what the further scans and test he had to have would say.

On the day the results were going to be available. He had an appointment with the specialist. We went in together. We left with the news which in some ways took some decisions out of my partners hands.

He did not have to have an operation nor give up his beloved pipe. His lung was cancerous but the cancer had spread through into his bones. It was in his legs, hips, sternum and one arm. There was little that could be done with the spread so great.
I guess we were understandably numb yet he was able to take some comfort in his pipe which the moment we were in the car he began the ritual of getting his pipe set up. I personally believe it was this ritual along with enjoyment of his pipe that gave him a great deal of pleasure.

He had radiation which he said if he had known how it would make him feel he would not have had. He was on strong pain killers understandably and methodone was used for pain and seemed to be one of the better reliefs for him.

As he did get sicker he began to have great anxiety, in fact major panic attacks. Not about dying, but how and where. He was so fearful of dying in bed. I promised him he would not die in bed. I also promised him if he wanted to remain at home that would be done too. Valium was wonderful and it helped with pain.

As a Registered nurse (RN) I was not afraid of caring for him in our home. Where he would be able to continue to smoke inside, and our beloved cat and young dog were there and would lie and sit with him.

He was an incredibly fit man for his age, and had climbed all the mountains in UK and Kilimanjaro, He had climbed and walked many mountains and walks in Tasmania. He loved walking in the bush.
I gave up work in January to be with him, as I decided he was my highest priority and we would just manage on the small income we had, our savings and a very well stocked pantry. (we did not go without).

I did find that because I was a RN there seemed to assumptions made that I knew all I needed. Or would just know to ask or something. It was only later that I realised there was so much that had not been provided, or shared with me. I believe the community services did what they felt was needed and that me being a RN I would ask.

In fact what happens is I was not an RN at this time, I was his partner. He was the love of my life and dying. I was not an oncology nurse so ignorant about so much.
We were very fortunate in that for my partner as much pain and anxiety he had, for five or so months we basically just kept living our normal lives, we traveled to mainland Australia to share the news with my family in person. (a very negative experience) but we did it. It was unbelievably difficult to share the news with his children, all adults with young families, they were incredibly supportive on the whole with one who wanted him to get more referrals and check ups. Go to the mainland if we had to. Poor person was understandably distressed.

About five half months into his illness he began to look less well. He was still active and eating well. His pain medication was very low dosage compared to most folk who had bone cancer. The only medications he had ever taken since we had been together was paracetamol.

Our relationship was good still but it began to become very different, and he would not talk to the specialists or community nurses. He wanted me to. I did and was told I had to let him talk for himself, and in the notes of community health I read them with his permission I was written up as being controlling and speaking for him!!
Nothing could have been further from the truth. I contacted our local GP who rang the community health people and tore them to shreds for writing such subjective unfounded and untruthful comments about me in his notes. I requested a new community health visitor.

It was hard being in a relationship that was changing and at times really really difficult. Understandably it was more about my darling mans needs over mine yet again I was not offered any real information about support for both of us. Again I feel there was a lot of assumed knowledge because I was a RN.

I don’t care who it is in a caring role if you are a community worker or social worker assume anyone who has recently become a carer knows nothing! Especially in the beginning and provide information throughout as so often life situations change for both the person who is ill and the carer.

My partner and I planned his funeral, and as weird as it sounds we both found it quite a lark, and very very interesting.

In Australia at the time over 10years ago the basic cremation costs plus service were over $6800 and he did not wish to pay so much. He had wanted a green coffin but cardboard coffins back then were dearer to get to Hobart than a timber coffin. He did not want his body at a funeral service and in fact we decided to just have a memorial service with everyone bringing a plate to share afterwards.

His body would be picked up from home and taken for cremation. No one would be accompanying. The ashes would be picked up when ready.
He wanted a minister who was a friend and a wonderful man (if I was a church religious person I might choose his church but only because he was the minister) to visit. So he came and a simple memorial service at the church and afternoon tea in the hall to follow. An organist(I do not know why people are made to sing at funerals!) but my partner wanted it.

All up for cremation and church memorial plus hire of hall with china seats, hot water and ovens $3000 and that was reduced by $400 when I got a phone call after he died to say the coffin we had chosen was not available would a plain pine be OK. Ummm that is actually what he asked for but was told not available. So no issue.

If in Australia there were public crematoriums you could probably save heaps more. Sadly all crematorium are owned by funeral companies. A council that operated a public one would make a (i was going to write killing..lol) fortune.
We also looked at a green funeral where you buried the ashes under a tree in an area that would become a memorial park sort of but again there were ongoing costs involved.

There is no law in Tasmania that says you can not deliver the body to the crematorium yourself as long as the vehicle so station wagon/van has blacked out windows or no windows.

I guess a horse and wagon would be OK but a bit far for 140km/86m round trip.

If we had been on more land he could have been buried here and we could have dug the grave for him.

I guess don’t just accept you have only the option of what the funeral companies dictate. Though in researching for this I have found cremation prices have come down but I am not sure if that is here in Tasmania or only on the mainland. It also does not include a get together afterwards.

It was not that we were cheap. It is just that neither of us see any point in having a gravestone who is going to maintain it, unless you go into a serviced cemetery and the ongoing costs for that are family responsibility. Nor did we need to make an impression on anyone it was all about what my darling man wanted. He was more concerned and thought it should be what me and his children wanted.

My darling man would have loved a Nordic Viking pyre and we could have all stood on the rivers edge as the tide was going out to sea and watched it for miles drifting burning going. I quite like that idea too.

My partner succumbed and died. He was active until the day before he died. He had been helping a friend load some pieces of timber that he was giving him onto the back of his truck on the Friday afternoon. We went for a short walk with our dog on Saturday and Sunday. Sunday evening he went up to bed and slept.
I got up Monday morning leaving him asleep. He got up and screamed in pain. I raised up the stairs and he was in agony sitting on the bed. I gave him his pain relief medication and actually gave him a little more as his pain was so bad. (he was written up for extra as required. I also gave him some Valium as he was quite anxious it was all oral medication). I helped finish dressing him.
He managed with a bit of support to walk down the corridor but at the stairs I have no idea how I managed to get him down the stairs but we did it. I placed him sitting upright on the lounge, and sat with him. He asked for a cup of tea. I went and made it but when I bought it back he was not able to drink it. He was quite vague and so I rang his children and told them what was happening. They all headed down.

This was about 8am and at 2pm surrounded by his family with his dog resting his head on his lap he died.
It was peaceful and he was surrounded by his family who all loved him. Well with the exception of our Burmease
cat who adored him, He the cat had not been near him since he first sat on the lounge.

He had been active he had not been bedridden he had no incontinence or vomiting, I still am awed at how incredible this amazing man managed to live and die.
I believe his sternum must have broken causing his ribs to break away. As when he was sitting I could see his heart beating down near his abdomen. I was so glad I had given him the extra pain medication and valium as they were the last things he took orally.

It was such a beautiful if very hard thing to be able to be with him as he died in our home in his clothes sitting upright on a comfortable lounge. Seeing the trees and his beautiful home he designed and built himself.
The only troubling thing for me was as I sat and held him as he was breathing his last breaths a single tear ran down his face. This may have been nothing more than body shutting down my medical brain says, but why just one tear, he was not dead yet. Even now all these years later I worry about what it signified. His sadness at leaving us, perfectly resonable, that there was something so incredible happening it made him cry. It would driven me insane if I kept thinking about it back then I had to work to let it go. yet everys o often it crosses my mind that one single tear just before his last breath.

His body remained in the house over night. This was the best thing. We all went to bed eventually. During the night I heard each child at some point get up and go and sit with his body. Talking and touching. I did too. Interestingly the cat slept on his body that night. Now if you are unaware when someone dies, the moment of death the body cools rapidly becoming almost freezing to the touch. Cats normally do not like the cold.

I was very appreciative of the community nurses when they came before he died reminding me to lay his body down fairly soon after so rigor mortis would not see him sitting up and make it hard for the funeral people to transport his body.

His GP came to confirm death and sign the death certificate, he stayed and shared a few stories with us about some times he and my partner had been together. Quite funny we all laughed. That meant a lot to me.

The minister (his friend) came and he conducted a beautiful meaningful short service. The childrens spouses and partners were present it was so so incredible and very moving and special. It was not something we had asked for. It meant the world to us all. This visit too had laughter as part of it.

His body was collected about mid morning the next day. By a group of women. The weird things you think at such times. They asked what clothes we wanted on the body. I was so worried about him being cold I grabbed a beautiful thick hand knitted (not by me) jumper. When they moved his body we moved outside but returned to say our final farewells. His body was in a black body bag. Over this was the most beautiful hand made quilt in pretty bright colours. One of the ladies shared, that two quilts had been made by someone who felt seeing their fathers body leaving their home in a black bag was wrong. She had made the to be used in these situations. I must say seeing the beautiful bright colours sticks in my memory and heart. What a gift this woman had given to others such as us.

On an aside when you have a body cremated here in Tasmania, when you pick it up it is in a brown box, with the dead persons name on it. Inside is a rectangular palstic box, with a round hole with a plastic disc inserted. The weight is surprising considering it is ‘ashes’. It is not really ashes like a wood fire, more like bits of pumice but heavier, and gritty with some ash like material.

My partner wanted to die at home, sitting up being able to smoke if he felt like it and with his animals and family right with him or on him as the case with pets. He wanted to be able to see his trees and do as he wanted. My partner planned how he was going to die. He shared that with his GP His family all parties involved knew his desires on how where and how he wanted to die. He had control. Don’t give up your control when you are dying. If your family want to be there and support you to be at home I encourage it. My partners experience of dying with lung and bone cancer is not the usual. His being able to walk up stairs on his own the night before he died, and eat (small meals he chose when he wanted. He kept smoking up until the night before he died. He was given a date of six months that he would be dead, he died eight months after diagnosis. I did not realise how much this meant to him until I was looking in his diary and noticed in big red print on the 6 months date ‘BEAT YOU, YOU BASTARDS!!

In the course of all the discussions about dying and death we had over the eight months between diagnosis and his death. My partner and I had talked about ways he could let me know he was OK after he died. He said he had thought about it and there was one thing that only he and I really knew but he was not going to share it with me. He did not and I forgot all about the discussion understandably.

The night after he died I went up to bed exhausted and my mind thinking about so many things who I needed to contact that I had not, what else I needed to do. Along with the overwhelming sadness. I thought I would have trouble falling asleep.
I sleep on my tummy, and I rolled onto my tummy and began to drift off. I felt something on the small of my back a sort of pressure. Now I had a doona over me, but this feeling was under the doona. I just ignored it and moved a bit and began to head towards sleep. The pressure came again but heavier and moving up and down. Again I thought I was imagining it, and shook my body a bit. Just as I was settling down for the third time the pressure was unmistakable, a weight so firm moving up and down the small of my back.

I suddenly registered, every night when my partner was alive he would rub the small of my back as I drifted off to sleep. I suddenly realised and recalled our conversation that he had a plan of how I would know he was OK. This had to be it. I was still laying on my tummy, the pressure was still moving. I had my eyes shut and the room was dark anyway. I said out loud oh its you. Suddenly my eyes were filled with a white light, and a sense of overwhelming love filled me, along with a sense it was all going to be all right. The rubbing continued and I must have drifted off to sleep.

I have had experiences as a RN that made me believe in an afterlife of some sorts. I am not going to share them now. Perhaps in another post. As I have said previously I am not a religious church sort of person. I respect others choices. I am more pagan/spiritual. I know my personal experience of this night. I also know what I have been privy too and shared with by family members when death has occurred in hospital and I have been the attending nurse.

blessings to you all Tazzie

March 2, 2020 6

Dog days Down Under Down Under

Its been a lovely day here in the beautiful Valley I call home. The photographs I have included are not from today, but they sum up all I am talking about.

The dogs and I all slept well and we rose fairly early in comparison of what seems to have become normal. (my medication after almost a year seems to be making me tired).

The dogs had their run.

For new readers I drive my car, and the dogs run up the road and back often with a stop at my neighbour on the hill for me to chat, and our big dogs to play together. Miss Treacle on the other hand my schnauser maltese cross who is 12, gets picked up and cuddled by Peter, and she just adores him.

His wife could not believe it when she saw Treacle in action. If we go up to their home and Peter is not out Miss Treacle will sit at their gate looking for him, and hoping. She cries with excitement when he is home and comes over to give her a cuddle. I swear she pines for him if she does not see him for a few days.

Busby and Toby are bros, and we do believe they are having a bromance. There is much licking and happiness, They run towards each other in ecstasy. When they play it can look really rough, but they are both actually very gentle with each other when they mouth.

Toby is a 2 and adores Busby who is 4, Playing.

Because Toby is a Springer Spaniel he has a soft mouth and is so gentle with Miss Treacle, though if he does get a bit rough with her, she will tell him off in no uncertain terms. He is a young dog, having just turned 2 in December. He has known my guys for most of his life. So he respects them both.

It makes us all smile watching these three get on so well. We have been driving past each other in our cars and Toby has made such a racket that they have had to stop so all three dogs can have a play in the paddock before we each pack up our dogs and head off. It is quite lovely.

The Huon Valley is very dog friendly with most cafes allowing dogs in outside areas, and there are wonderful dog friendly beaches where dogs and owners can swim and run play off lead. Each of the main towns Huonville, Cygnet, Geeveston all have lovely fully fenced off lead dog parks. Thanks to co-operation and fund raising of the Huon Valley Dog group.

Having a mental illness such as I have Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD), my dogs are everything to me. They are my world, and if it was not for them I can be totally honest and say in my darkest days, I would have made a decision that I know would have been the worst decision I could have. Animals can make such a difference to people with mental illness. I have to get up everyday and feed them, let them out, play with them and cuddle them. Exercise them and keep them in good condition. I may go back to bed as I did in my worst days but I had got up..had some food and cared for my dogs.

My dogs know me warts and all. Miss Treacle is like my angel, when I am getting angry she will come and sit on my lap and push her body into me, she will try to nuzzle me and get me to make eye contact with her. She hates me on the telephone, as that is where she has seen me at my worst in anger. If I am getting frustrated with other drivers she leans into me. Yet even with all of this she loves me unconditionally.

Busby is my protector who is frightened of metal on metal noises, scraping chairs, wind, rain, thunder and lightning. We were out walking at Triabunna (a seaside town on the east coast, about an hour away, north of Hobart and a massive storm hit with wind hail thunder and lightning. It was horrendous, and understandably he has been frightened of these ever since. I had to pick up Miss Treacle, and poor Busby just tried to run off, I nearly dropped Miss Treacle, and dropped his lead, but somehow did not. I could not just stand there, with no protection. So we had to try and get to the car, about 100meters away. Needless to say we were all shaken up by this. My big gentle boy(41kgs/90lbs) now tries to climb up on my lap if we have storms and I have to close all the curtains if it is really windy. Which it often is as we live in the roaring forties.

So my dogs are my family, they are my constant companions. I have huge anxiety and panic attacks if I have to leave them at home, or it is too hot to take them with me. I have cancelled appointments and not gone to things because I have been to overwhelmed to leave them.

I make no apologies for this.

blessings Tazzie.

February 9, 2020 10

Musings from down under down under

It is really interesting, I kind of thought with my budget being so tight and me being more content at home not finding it easy to be around people even to just pop in on people who tell me too.
I have not been anywhere out of my home area, well the dogs walks and I have chatted briefly with neighbours, for a week. I imagine to many this must be such a strange thing and way to live. I do not believe I am depressed, as I am achieving some small things inside my home. On top of having been getting my veggie garden up and functional again this summer. My dogs make me laugh and I laugh at things I watch appropriately

I have achieved finding a new psychiatrist, but I had to do all the work and that really annoyed me and exhausted me. We have a company/organisation called Phscy 2 U. Which is supposed to provide people who live in rural and isolated areas the access to psychologists and psychiatrists. I have been seeing a psychiatrist for 7 months (need to have an assessment conducted to get a letter from he/she to apply for disability pension). I use the term 7months very loosely here. I saw this particular psychiatrist for five months and then I have been trying to find out why he told my GP I no longer wished to see him. (I never said that). So to catch to the chase. I had rung the organisation to find out what was going on and if he would see me but I needed a new referral from my GP which was sent on the 12 December 2019. They never got back to me. I rang again, to be told that they would look for another psychiatrist.
Never heard anything, and as it was Christmas time now there was no point trying again until the new year. So ring again I did. No he was not seeing me anymore, no reason. They would look for a new psychiatrist.

One week later I ring again having heard nothing, oh the Psychiatrist had been away on leave and they would imagine I would hear from him soon. Another week passes, I hear nothing.

I ring again to be told I have to wait for this person to contact me as I am on ADHD medication and he is the only psychiatrist who can prescribe in Tasmania. I say I am not on ADHD medication where did you get that information from it is incorrect. Oh. I say since I am not on that medication you could find me a psychiatrist who could see me. She says she will send some emails.

I ring back again 10 days later. No record of me not being on ADHD medication no record of the conversation I had 10 days ago and no emails sent to any other Psychiatrists. Me not so happy. Person I spoke to lovely and says she will send something of right now. Me great I have been waiting since the 12th December it is now 26 January, and I have rung several times to follow up and no one has ever contacted me. This is making me unwell having to chase all this up my anxiety CPTSD is not great.

I ask if I can speak to a supervisor, she says no one is available at the moment but someone will ring back. I ask today? Yes today. OK

I wait and wait, the office closes at 4pm I have heard nothing and it is 3.30pm so I ring. The woman I spoke with was no help I said I had been waiting for a call from the supervisor, she says did you want the office manager or the Head person, me I just want someone who can help resolve this. She then went on to tell me emails had been sent before, I said are you meaning the emails that were sent this morning? No before that. Really how come you are the first person to tell me this, as the woman I spoke to this morning said nothing had been sent and she would email them. So would you give me the dates these emails were sent please. She was reluctant to do this. I again asked for the dates, and said to her I felt that I was getting a bumsteer from this company.

I also found out that the actual second referral from my GP which was faxed on the 12.12.19 (I rang my GP to confirm) was not put into this companies system until the 06/01/2020. No explanation available as they did not close the office until 24/12/19

In the course of this conversation I discovered there was no record of one of my phone calls and the conversation from that date. I as an RN/RPN (no longer working) stated that legally that was a huge error. I had called and there was no record of it! I said in a legal situation the courts would say if its not documented it did not happen, and that is wrong in so many ways in a medical setting to not have a record of a clients call documented. I said I would be contacting the Ombudsman in regard to that. I also said I had a right to know when the emails were sent I did not want to know who too. Just the date they were sent. She then admitted they were sent that morning! UGGh! I was feeling so angry.

I was so fed up and I could feel I was being triggered and my anger was beginning. I hung up not expecting to hear from anyone today.

A few minutes later I got a call from the person in charge. I had managed to calm myself a bit in the interim time, but I just waited for her to begin the conversation as she had rung me. She begins with there is no issue about the phone call not being recorded. I disputed this. I also requested that I wished to make a formal complaint about the process and what had occurred with the documentation she refused saying that me speaking to her was dealing with it. I said NO I wanted it to be documented as a formal complaint so it would go to the governing body. or whomever. As medical notes had to be kept objectively and correctly again I stated that in a legal situation the fact my phone call and the information was not documented in my notes meant it did not happen. How many other clients were having this sort of treatment? She did not like my attitude. She then said my previous psychiatrist did not want to see me. I said sorry is that documented? Where did you get this information? She did not respond. I said he sent my GP a letter saying I no longer wanted to see him, and that was not correct, as could be seen as I had rung up (and fortunately that had been documented twice) to say I did want to see him.
If she had records saying he did not want to see me, than they should be sent to my GP, as the information she had was incorrect. As a mental health client that could go against me, if the Disability people thought I did not want to see the psychiatrist. I was so upset and my anger was rising. I just wanted to get an appointment with a psychiatrist, there are no psychiatrist available in the southern area of Tasmania that bulk bill. I can not afford to pay to see one at all. I was crying by this point and had to hang up.
She rang me back about 10mins later, saying she hoped I had calmed down…I really battled to not bite her head off.. I let her talk, she said she had tried to ring 2 psychiatrists but no one was answering. She had left messages. I said is that all? yes I hung up. I was drained exhausted frustrated and just shattered.

The next morning I rang and lodged a complaint about information not being documented in my records and asking for a copy of the information that says the psychiatrist I had been seeing no longer wanted to see me. Not that I did not want to see him. I wanted my GPs records to be amended. I had to do that on the computer which at least was not a huge form.

I just can not cope. I do but it takes so much out of me. I get fixated and then begin to think if I am struggling and I am sort of better than I was, in some ways, how would anyone who was more unwell deal with any of this, and like with my Centrelink ban, I think many people would just give up and try and struggle on.

The concept of these Skype meetings is full of good intentions. But having people who have no idea and seem to not want to know anything about you but just give you drugs, (and Yes the meds I’m on are helping my brain but other areas are blah..like constantly weary. I sleep 12+hours with some weird really weird dreams, for a week or more and then I have a few nights were I am up all night, It is part of the have a brain that is functioning, or not symptoms.

Yet when I create a post such as this I see my mind is a bit all over the place, and I really struggle with paperwork. I am so fed up with what seems to me having to resolve things that I as the person with a mental illness should not have too. I am exhausted by the dealings of it all and my reaction is to begin to close myself off again. Not look at the phone, not communicate with other bloggers, not go and get the food I need. It was really only because my dogs needed their food for the fortnight that I ended up going out today. Then I am out for so long as I usually run into people who want to chat. Even today, I had rung and ordered my dogs meat, on Monday, and the person who took my order did not get it right. I had a few kilos in the freezer at home which would have got me over the long weekend(which I was oblivious too). So I was able to manage the situation in a no major issue kind of way, which was positive.

I keep reminding myself to be aware and to breathe, to acknowledge the feeling but not let it rule me. I also am getting better at saying to my little me that I the adult person am in charge and will deal with it.
I am really happy to be finding so many amazing bloggers out there I especially love wordpress.com/read/feeds/36149739/posts/2580354980, Charlies writing and his artwork make me smile and light a spark inside me wanting to be creative again. Yet for the moment I have to put that on hold for a few days.

I am really thankful that as a hoarder, (I have not shared that here before) I actually am really conscientious about what I am bringing in to my home. For quite a while I was gathering boxes, so many boxes cardboard and today the dog meat came in two cardboard boxes, and I know that they will go out in my car port(now devoid of cardboard boxes) but I will use them and put them on the grass in my veggie area that I am trying to get rid of. I threw a fair few of the other ones away as it was very big problem into recycling. I was somewhere else today and I was offered a box to carry some things (breakables) but I said thank You but I won’t and explained that I hoarded them! Wow was I so happy that not only I said no, but I reiterated out loud the reason why I did not want a box. I knew I had two already. If I had a third that I could do without, and I said NO huge step forward.

As a hoarder I also have to look at anything I am bringing home in any multiples. For example I got several large bowls at the tip shop(which is where I was offered the box) and a few pie dishes all glass or pottery. Plus I needed to replace my microwave glass plate that spins having broken my 18 months ago. I was tempted by so much stuff, and the constant thing in my head was you do not need that you are trying to de clutter, and not hoard, you are hear for large bowels for bird baths and drinking bowls for wild life. (some of my old plastic ones are deteriorating and need to be replaced). So I came home with four bowels, on microwave plate and this was a near miss in the hoarder scenario, as I there were five different sizes and not being sure of the size I almost bought the five. Self talk and I looked at them all and from somewhere inside my brain, take this one and if it is not right I am sure they would let you do a simple swap next timer! YES wonderful. I got the one I chose home and it fitted. Yippee.

So along with the part of my brain that is not functioning well and the constant tiredness, some aspects are going well.

The other thing is I am doing OK. I do think some of my reactions in dealing with the psych 2 U people were anxiety driven, I am no closer to having my assessment for DSP than I was nearly 8 months ago which is frustrating. I was about to write that I was also worrying about the new person changing medications, and I could feel myself reacting, and my auto anxiety responses physical sensations begin, and into my head came…not much point worrying about that now, you have five weeks before your appointment.

I am thankful I have an appointment, I am thankful that I am on meds that have some positives that out weigh the negatives, I am thankful for the wonderful bloggers who I enjoy reading, seeing their creativity and learning and sharing experiences with each other.

blessings Tazzie

February 7, 2020 11

How to pay of your mortgage

I wrote this in response to someone asking me how did we pay off our mortgage?

This is all based on two adults only. NO kids involved I can not base anything on how expensive it can be with children. The mortgage was paid off before I had my breakdown I was still working and my partner died. I worked for a few years after his death. This is why I encourage everyone to become as financially stable as possible.
If we had not paid off our home, I believe I would not have been able to manage the mortgage payments on my own.

My first point is always get rid of all debts before the mortgage. Mortgages at present are low, credit cards with fees and higher interest rates, get rid of them. YOU CAN live without a credit card. Personal loans, car, student loans may all incur higher interest than your mortgage. Get rid of them. Here in Australia I believe most credit cards have an annual fee. So your are paying to have that convenience on top of any interest.

Interest rates will go up I promise you.

Disclaimer Compared to those living on Newstart (benefit I receive ) or low incomes, who are renting, and living in the cities, which are so expensive to rent in or purchase a home. I do not know how anyone can survive even with the rent assistance, my hat is off to all who are in that situation. The costs involved with looking for work, adds to the difficulty of living off this payment. As to paying off a mortgage I bow down before you in awe!

My CPTSD makes me unemployable so I don’t have to do all involved in looking for work. I also know how fortunate I am that my country provides money for those of us who find ourselves out of a job, for what ever reason.

I have all I need and more, I do not have any wants, that makes me rich. Money does not make you rich. It might make you RICH as in oh look at my Corvette and my six bedroom six bathroom house I live in on my own kind of thing, If that is the RICH you are aiming for go for it.

I live in a state that has some of the cleanest air in the world. I have clean water to drink, I can access medical services for no charge, as I have a concession card, so my GP bulk bills me. Public Hospitals are free, but waiting times can be huge. I have wonderful neighbours and a exceptional community in the valley I live in which was demonstrated this time last year when we had bush fires and smoke from before Christmas to late May. This makes me rich!(not the fires and smoke the community)

I have superannuation that will not be accessible for 13 years. Only other assets apart from my home are my two dogs. Who are priceless.

I do not look at life in such ways. Our mortgage was joint effort and no I received no financial remuneration from any where when my partner died. All money went to his daughters. As it should. Our home was a place that his children had never lived in. I am not a financial person, in fact I find all the talk of how much money you need for this and that is ridiculous. As here they talk of how much you need to retire and it is so out there for me. I am supposed to have $3million to retire on. No wonder people are so scared.

Now again, I don’t live in a city like Sydney,Melbourne or even Hobart,where houses and units cost so much. Where many retirees enjoy eating out, the theatre, golf, traveling overseas, around Australia. Some will have several cars, may be a boat, a holiday house. Some will still be paying of their homes and some will be renting. Some will be doing fine and others not so. Maybe if you want to continue with the lifestyle you had you might need that sort of money. I have never seen and probably never will see that sort of money personally in my lifetime.

I could get all worked up and think lots of negative thoughts and worry myself so that anxiety and panic attacks increased and out bursts of anger because I felt no control over it all. Concerned about not having the $3million dollars I need to retire on .

Instead I take a leaf, no many leaves out of my partners life. He was older than I am. He had no debts, he had some savings not a huge amount by what you should have standards, he helped his daughters out with the deposit for their first homes. He was content.

We traveled to NZ for 6 weeks in a campervan. Most of the time it was wonderful..a couple in a tiny vechicle no escape..we were a normal couple!

Apart from beds, (mattress is over 18 years old and still going strong. Fridge 13 years old, microwave 16 years old, freezer 13 years old washing machine over 30 years old, oh and two beautiful Huon pine small coffee table he made me, all the other furniture is second hand. Our TV is smaller than most peoples computer screen. I don’t have air conditioning and survived fine today 40dC/104dF with just a fan.

I have no stocks no bonds, no gold no money hidden anywhere.

My assets are way below the cap for Newstart. Sorry not going into my Net worth but it just the value of my home and superannuation and that is just under $100,000.

I am not qualified to advise anybody on what where how they invest. So cant help you there. I have always looked at if you cant afford to loose it don’t invest.

For me the way to pay off your mortgage faster is to realise that it is compound interest you generally are paying. So if you say as we do here have mortgages that you pay only interest off to begin with and you just pay that amount you it will take the full 30 years. That is what banks and other lenders hope for.

Now this is just very rough values done on a mortgage calculator, online.

Again I am not a financial advisor or in any way an expert.

These figures are based on Australian AUD and interest rates. They are only a demonstration. Say you had a mortgage amount of$360,000 3 bedroom home in Hobart State Capital and an annual interest rate of 4.5%. fixed loan On going Monthly repayments $1824.00 every month for 30 years

Total Interest and fees Payable $296,691.00

Now if you paid just an extra $50 a month of your mortgage would be paid out in 28 years and 5months $278,023.00 in interest and fees payable.

If you paid an extra $100 a month$261,734 interest and fees you would pay out your loan in 27 years.

It doesn’t seem much but every little bit extra you can pay off your mortgage reduces time and interest taken. If you pay your loan fortnightly you save even more. If you can pay your mortgage weekly and add an extra $20 to the payment.

If you could pay $2000 a month your mortgage would be paid in 25years and interest would be $240,553 ($56,000 saving on interest and fees)

Extreme example if you could afford a repayment of $1924 a week you would pay your mortgage in 4 years and interest and fees would be $32,902

Paying your mortgage weekly as we did saved even more not that we were paying the full amount but we would put something even if it was $10 on the mortgage every week on top of the due payments. We were paying 8.5%averaged out and we paid it out in 10 years. I was working so it was a lot easier.

Most people (not all) can give up things. Do you really need to have the painted nails manicure and pedicure every week? Or is it a want? Some people do need it than don’t give this up.

People managed to go to work and not get a coffee on the way to work every morning a couple of decades ago. It can be done. Drink water instead of sodas. Bring it from home don’t buy water in plastic bottles. These are all the things I am sure you have heard, and read.

I stopped buying two take away coffees a day, $7 a day $35 a week, $1820 a year saved. OK I had to drink instant but it was what I was drinking at home back then and it was provided free at work. If you add that $140 to your monthly mortgage repayment. wow. Such a little thing, but it will reduce the time and money you pay to the bank. Most importantly I survived doing it. It was worth doing all we could to be debt free. I kept looking at all the ways to knock off some money here some there.

Every time we did, into the money box(jar) the money we saved went and once a month on the fortnight between the mortgage payment I would take what ever we had in the jar to the bank. By taking it in on the fortnight opposite the regular monthly payment was taken out, the time, and interest grew shorter and less. We also paid extra regular weekly payment of about 25 a week I think it may have been more. So add that to the extra $10 a week payment, another payment of varied amounts, plus our monthly required payment. It all adds up and reduces the capital owed plus the interest.

We both put any loose change in it at night. We don’t have any tolls or paid parking where I live. I took a book to read and sat outside on breaks or in the staff room ate my bought from home meal. I stopped going to shops and malls, and wondering aimlessly about to fill in time.

I assessed what clothes and shoes I had and just wore them, I had a pair of 3 pair of dress shoes, walking boots, and joggers a pair of sandles and thongs. (flip flops) I wore a uniform to work that was paid for by work. That was helpful.

But when I did work in offices and training, I basically had a very simple wardrobe that I just lived in. Two pair of shoes that were comfortable for standing in to train people. Ive never followed fashion and own very little jewellery of any value. Again you may love jewellery than this might not be something that you want to stop buying.

I had a couple of handbags. Good quality but not labels that went with my ‘uniform’ I created. I stopped buying books and magazines and went to the library. We still would go out for meals and to the movies, theatre occasionally (two three times a year)

My partner loved the symphony so for combine Christmas Birthday gift, I bought him (and I ) season tickets for the Symphony. We did not need lots of gifts, and both our birthdays are January If we did go out for a meal for a birthday celebration it would be lunch, because we would go to Hobart to pick up things we needed and go to a really nice restaurant or cafe, and have lunch food was great but much cheaper than dinner. It was not that we were cheap. It was just we wanted to get out of the city and get home again. We loved being in our home. Together.

The other thing I have heard people talking about is what to do with any extra payments ie tax return, bonus! Put it if you can on your debts first! Having a holiday I promise you will be great but than you will come home and have more money on your credit card, and increased stress because you spent more than you intended. Put a bit aside for a treat.

Do you need or want a brand new car? They depreciate so fast . If you bought a brand new car in Australia, and drove it around the block tried to sell it You would only get about 2/3s of what you just paid for it. (a bit extreme but not far off)I have always bought second hand cars. I don’t need all the computerised things. I do like automatic windows I admit handy with dogs. But if you look at a brand new car for lets say $30,000 and within a very short time it will be worth lets say $22,000 why not just buy a vehicle for $22,000 these days it may still be under some warranty, any problems should be ironed out, and as long as it hasn’t been driven around Australia (or the states) deal. then put the $8,000 on the mortgage as one lump payment. Or pay off debts.

Now for those renting and trying to save for a mortgage, this might be hard. But do two people a couple really need a two bedroom unit? In Australia a second bedroom adds approx $120-200 a week to the rent. if you are paying $200 a week extra for a second bedroom you are wasting $9600 dollars a year, in a few years that would give you a great deposit!. Yes you might be able to get someone into help pay the rent but watch Judge Judy and you might reconsider..

You might read this and go well they must have been miserable but no. There are lots of things you can attend for free. I love reading and used to buy book and magazines. I joined our wonderful Tasmanian Library LINC and they had free internet access. Air conditioned in summer heated in winter. Go in read free newspapers magazines and the cost of heating air conditioning is the State Governments. Great free school holiday programes and free early childhood story times. I love it we also have in our small town a free library on the edge of a park. People leave books and others can take them. I have read some relatively new releases from it. Also have free internet access very helpful if you are not a big user, saves money on having a internet service at home.

Pay as you go phone. Don’t keep updating your tech items. Save the money your phone and apps will still work, as will your laptop.

Parks, your own garden, make your home somewhere you love and you might find like I have I don’t miss doing so much. Gym fees, instead go for walks garden, stack four tonne of wood. Dance. do steps by going up and down stairs, get together with friends at each others places take plates to share, babysit for each other, have clothe swaps with friends You all bring things you don’t wear need like whatever and someone else might love it. Sell stuff on ebay or gum tree you no longer need or put it on for free it will go. rather than throw it away.

Have a good pantry and learn how to cook from scratch, you will save a fortune, Its work but hey its exercise for free shopping in the supermarket or farmers market. It is more work. I understand but its fulfilling and you will have be reducing debts and getting that mortgage paid off. Plenty of free info on the internet.

If you loose friends because you are doing this I question the friendship. Stop subscribing to things that cost you money. Look at the fees and charges your bank charges you. You may see ways of saving there. When you are paying for things with cash ask if there is a discount I saved $60 on my fridge because I paid cash. Buy seconds in white goods. They are new they will still have a warranty, and if you have a problem as I did once they gave me a new stove, to replace the second (which was a second because it had a dent in it) as it was cheaper than fixing the one I had and the warranty began again. Do you pay to have direct debits done? Save the money and do it yourself.

My mechanic lets me pay off service costs because I do it fast reliably and in cash. The tyre company let me have a deal on four new tyres and I paid them off because I paid cash. Again quickly reliably. Worst thing that can Happen is a no. If that happened we tightened our belts even more. Within a month we could usually pay it.yes we might only pay the two mortgage payments or one that month, but we would still put what ever we could in on top after the bill was paid in full.

When my partner became ill with terminal cancer I stopped work to care for him, after he died, I returned to work for four years, I worked casually and only two nights a week. I was working when I had my breakdown. I have not worked for four years three of which I have been on Newstart Benefits. The first twelve months I had to live on my savings as I had too much money to get benefits. $12,000.AUD. New Start is$15,000approx a year so if you are ever applying for Newstart take any savings out of the bank before you apply.

If I had not owned my home and was debt free you can imagine what might have happened. I never ever thought I would be on unable to work again, and I never ever thought I would not be making a good living. I can not imagine where or how I would be living now after three years on Newstart. I certainly would have no dogs, no garden, I would probably be in a house sharing with other people I do not know. I know it is hard to think like this when You are young, and even if you are older. If you can do it get rid of your debts, regardless, cut up your credit card.

blessings Tazzie

January 27, 2020 4

Death of three USA Fire Fighters here in my country

My heart is so laden with the distressing news of these three men who died when their plane crashed. These wonderful men FireFighters from US.
The three are 44-year-old Capt. Ian McBeth of Great Falls, Montana, who was piloting the downed C-130 plane; First Officer Paul Clyde Hudson, age 42, of Buckeye, Arizona; and 43-year-old Flight Engineer Rick DeMorgan Jr., who lived in Navarre, Florida

I can not imagine how dreadfully hard this is for their families, friends, colleagues and those they worked with here in Australia.

As an Australian I am deeply deeply saddened that these Fire Fighters who had fought so many fires and came here to help my country died in doing so .

I can not imagine how horrendous for their families as they are traveling here to the place their husband, partner, father, brother, child, died. So far away from them. They are due here in Australia tomorrow.

Thank YOU gentlemen for the extreme sacrifice you made for my country.

Tazzie

January 24, 2020 5

A day road trip

It was a relatively early start this morning for us. I had an appointment at 08.30am. I had another appointment later in the afternoon and made the decision to take myself and the dogs on a bit of an adventure. We had heavy rain and wind over night which was fantastic, as it is very dry. We had some road works on the Huon Highway, yest folks this is a major highway. Yes folks it is two lanes from Huonville to Cockle Creek. It is narrow and winding. It has log trucks b-doubles on it, and huge semis. with no over taking lanes between Huonville and Geeveston, Country roads, bliss.

Port Huon was once a busy trading port for the international transportation of the Huonvalleys superb apples and tinned products. I know of someone who spoke to me of recalling after the 2nd World War, as a child in Brittain, he had a big tin of apples on his Mother’s shelf in the pantry. She told him that they had come all the way from Tasmania In Australia. Little did he realise he would end up living near where these apples had come from.

Before the road was put in from Hobart to Huonville people and goods used the river to move everything to and fro, including themselves to and from Hobart.

I pulled into the Ship Wrights Point Recreation Grounds near Port Huon. It has a childrens play ground, camping area, I think BBQs and undercover eating area as well as toilets. The Huon Sailing Club is here too, sailing on Thursday evening during the sailing season.
There are areas that are dog off lead, so it is a great spot for my dogs to stretch their legs and do what they may need to do. As any responsible dog owner I carry poo bags and make sure any my guys do is picked up and put in the bin. Busby and Miss Treacle love it here so many incredible smells and places to run about on the waters edge when the tide is out.

I have never come across anyone fishing here before, (though it is an ideal spot, cloudy tide running out.

I have been here numerous times, and this is the first time I have come across people fishing, though no one had caught anything up until this point, I am not a fisher person, and plead ignorance to if this is a good day with tide running out to be fishing or not. There was another young couple but they were just packing up.

The photo above is looking towards the ocean, the photo below is looking towards the head of the river sort of. Where we are here the water is salty, the Huon River is tidal. It can get quite wavey at times in the wind. We do get dolphins up it and I have heard people have seen whales. I have never seen whales but dolphins and seals yes.

Looking up river towards Hobart, which is basically on the other side of the mountain range.

From somewhere near Huonville the river becomes fresh water. So you can catch quite an array off fish along this river.

Busby and Miss Treacle were a bit too interested in this man fishing fortunately he was kind and enough to say hi to them and not cast while they were near him. I did move them away rapidly though, I don’t like them being a nuisance to anyone.

Like many places sadly our river has become home to Acquaculture industry and whilst they have improved some of their activities in more recent years, there is still an awful lot of rubbish that ends up in the water and oceans because of their activities. For years locals complained to council(not their role, government not very interested, marine board aware but no money from government to pursue and hard to prove which company was responsible unless obvious). So much was being found that people were submitting data records locations photographs and taking it home and piling it up to show how much was being left in the river and on the banks. The marine debris hotline I assume with funding from the organisations involved is the result. I do have to say I have seen one companies huge vessel actually stop and pull up debris on it way into port. Small things, but better than in the past.

um You will probably see this area in quite a few photos.

This boat or one so similar seems to be moored here every time I come to Port Huon and stop. It is a location I like for shooting photographs.

It has been very dry, and so the rain last night and more that is due this afternoon is very welcome

The Huon River, is salt water at this point it is tidal and under maritime regulations, close to Huonville it is a fresh water river. It does look like the heavens were about to open at any moment but they did not for a few hours. It was sultry and so humid. Ugh

As you may notice is is a hilly area in the Huon Valley. There is not a lot of flat land along side the river.

Miss Treacle was ready to hop back into the car, but Busby well he had other ideas. He did come eventually..
It is less than 10 minutes to Geeveston from here.

I will post more of our trip perhaps tomorrow. It is always good to leave the house for a while, and mix a bit with other humans.

blessings Tazzie

January 23, 2020 10

Reality of living with CPTSD for me may be triggering for others.

When you have C-PSTD and you are really working hard to utilise strategies to minimise reactions to triggers especially those that are overwhelming angry. It is so so frustrating when you just can not seem to make headway.

I am on a Government Benefit here in Australia, called Newstart. It is for those of us who are unemployed. I am very appreciative that we have benefits available to us. Even though this one has not kept in line with the real costs of living. There was a increase in September 2019 which gave the average recipent a $3.50 a fortnight increase. Not even enough to buy a loaf of bread and a litre of milk!

That is an aside, as I have shared here I manage on this low income $578 AUD $397.30 USD /305.25GBP/358.22euro. per fortnight/two weekly. I manage because I own my home out right and have no debts. I do without things at times, and will live on simple cheap nutritious meals when I have to for unexpected costs.

I have been banned from going into any office of Centrelink (the government organisation that manages Newstart and other benefits, payments, and pensions. I said F..k as a descriptive word not directed at anyone and I was upset, loud, frustrated and bewildered by the system. I never threatened anyone or abused anyone. I remained seated and was loud. It was all over the wording my GP had put on my medical certificate that means due to my mental health illness I am not well enough to work or look for work. I have tried volunteer work and a free unit at uni both of which I did not manage.
My Gp had written that I was permanently unable to work. Centrelink does not like this as if I am permanently unable to work, than I should not be receiving Newstart but a disability pension. There lies the problem. My GP will not write anything other than permanent and Centrelink will not accept my certificates. (They want it to say temporary or exacerbation). I the unwell person am caught in the middle. The result of this kerfuffle is that I am banned from entering or speaking on the phone to anyone at Centrelink.

The original ban was for three months which I felt was unjustified. I asked for a review and now I am on a 12 month ban, which is actually 13 1/2 months sigh.

I have been assigned a personal case worker. Which as everyone else says is brilliant, and it is in a way as you only deal with one person, they have to respond to you in a certain time frame. It would seem ideal. I can only phone her, and she has to contact me back if she is not available.

Now the reason I became angry frustrated is part of my CPTSD is that I find ridiculous bureaucracy, and security questions, such as this triggering.

When I ring this person I have to speak to someone else first I guess reception, never mentioned in the letter explaining what I have to do, so that triggered me as I follow the letter to the nth degree so as not to have issues down the track. I firstly before speaking to a human have to enter my Centrelink number and use my access code. So it frustrates me that I then have to give them my full name address and date of birth. I asked why to be told it is for security. I commented that any of my friends, family or someone who might have stolen my wallet would have all that information, so not very secure! You get a picture of how I am. I am triggered by this seemingly pathetic security check. Even if the person rings me she wants to know this information too. Sigh

It starts the whole process of badly. I have been in touch with my local member of federal parliament whose office is brilliant. I vote for her because of how much she really tries to help the community she represents, even though I may or may not vote for the party she is with. One of her office people has been helping and they have a number they can ring for this sort of thing. I was advised by this person that in future If it was required that I contact them or they me a letter or a message would be sent to me advising of a phone call coming. The number is always unlisted and I do not answer unlisted calls. Unless I am aware of someone contacting me as in this situation.

I have had disastrous contacts with this person, as she just really does not understand that my reactions, are not something I can control once they have reached this point. I have hung up in the past so I do not get to the angry frustrated me, but the flee me instead. She was annoyed by that, too. I have been told by her to calm down, and that always works! Of course not. I have been sobbing just trying to get through what ever I have to to meet the demands of the Centrelink bureaucracy. ( which can change at any time) with this person, and I can honestly say I don not believe we have had one successful phone conversation. She is supposed to be in a specialised area working with people who have been banned for what ever reasons. many I imagine with mental health illnesses chronic pain, I am sure there are some really bad people too.

This most recent episode I responded to the letter, I rang first thing in the morning as soon as the office hours opened. I spoke to a lovely woman who told me my case worker was not in as yet. I was ringing as the case worker had rung me the night before at 5;17pm I assume she left it until last thing. Because I had no notice of her ringing, and I had been waiting for a social worker to call me(who also has caller id withheld number) I answered. I was upset as she said who she was and then asked me for my name address and date of birth? SHE RANG ME! (I live alone they know that) She has also spoken to me before. So I was triggered by the unexpected call plus the checking details, I had no ability to do my preparation to attempt to minimise the triggers. I was also upset that she had rung at this time. (phone offices close at 5pm) but she can call me after this? I still had one day to attend to what I needed to and was trying to get a social worker to ring on my behalf with me. To avoid the very situation I was now in.
She got so fed up with me, and I am sobbing saying the MPs office told me I would be messaged, before you would ring me. She said she did not have to! Seems no one talks to each other in Centrelink. I said she did. She just told me to let her talk and I was falling apart. I did not want to dissociate on the phone which I could feel myself doing, so I hung up
I was still crying and my little dog, climbed on my lap and licked my tears, she is like my support dog, she picks up on all my emotions and really will try to bring me back when I am triggered.

Back to the lovely woman at reception who talked to me as my case worker was not in. I explained my mental illness and that I am meant to be messaged if a phone call is going to be made to me. She assured me this would be done.

Imagine then two hours later, I am sitting out side having a coffee. The phone rings, again I think it may be the social worker, but no. It is the case worker. No message!
I begin with I am supposed to get a message before you ring.
She it says on my computer you were sent one
me well I have not received one
she well Im on the phone now,
me I am not up to talking with you, I am waiting for my social worker to phone me so she can talk to you.
she it will only take a few minutes.
Me I am waiting for my social worker to ring you so she can talk to YOU on my behalf!
Me What part of I am not up to talking to you now do you not understand?
she don’t speak to me like that,
Me I keep telling you I have a mental health illness, I can not deal with you today, I have been advised by the ministers office I will be notified by Centrelink of any phone calls via messenger or a letter. I am waiting for my social worker to contact me so she can talk to YOU!
My computer says one was sent, it was sent.
implying what says I ?
I hang up.

I ring to find out what is happening with my social worker, to find out she has been off sick all week? Oh I meant to ring you says the woman on the other end of the line. I cry and she says she will see how she can help when I tell her the situation. If I dont talk to this case manager by close of business today I may not get my benefit next week.

Another social worker from a town 40km away contacts me and is wonderful she gets onto my case worker, explains she has my permission to talk. The social worker phones me back in the afternoon and apologised but she can not get the information on my behalf as I need to have a letter of authority by my social worker before my case manager will talk to anyone. FFS!

I’m exhausted, I ring the government ombudsman office to be told there is nothing they can help me with. they advise me to ring a NGO Advocacy service I ring them they suggest the OBUDSMAN’S office. I ring that office back informing them that it is not in their scope of practice to deal with Centrelink complaints, I am them advised to ring another community group in Tasmania, who inform me it is not in their scope of practice either I ask what that means. Basically there is no funding provided by the federal government for these organisations to help with Centrelink problems. Again I am told to ring the OBUDSMAN’S office. I inform them of this with this organisation too. I ask is there anyone in Tasmania that can help with some one with a mental illness and serious issues with Centrelink? No!

I ring my MPs office, let them no that I have no avenues of support available, and they are very apologetic, they have done all they can as they are not a support service. I understand that and say I am very very appreciative for all the help they have given me. I just want to inform you of two things, that there is no support service in Tasmania that gets any funding from the government to assist people with mental health illnesses and issues with Centrelink. Oh I thought so and so did, I say no not in theirs or this groups scope of practice, legal aide send you to the first group and the government obudsmans office sends you to the two groups that can not help you as they get no funding and it is not in their scope of practice. A form of discrimination for people with a mental health illness I believe.

So here I am being a advocate, for my own situation and imagining how many other people with mental illness are out there battling Centrelink, with no support and who just give up. The Government wonders why incidents of verbal assault anger, abuse, physical abuse, assault and aggression face to face and over the phone with staff at Centrelink offices is increasing.

I do feel for the staff, and at my little office there are some brilliant staff. It seems they are not able to help it is someone who travels from Hobart to manage the office(she was my first contact).
From a mental health nursing perspective, I see how hard it is on the staff. They should be trained, and supported, but they are paid, they get sick leave they get free counseling, they can take paid stress leave The client on the other side, gets no support no pay if they can not deal with the minutiae of the bureaucracy. I am trying to get the disability support pension. 61 pages as an initial form, I gave up filling it in, I had to see a social worker to help me. (I have two degrees! my mental illness impacts me like this).

I have to find a new psychiatrist from Psych 2 U a internet service where you are allocated a psychiatrist generally from Sydney or Melbourne, my first one told my GP I had decided I did not want to see him anymore, which was not true. I questioned him about his methods, (he asked me if I had thought about moving into a over 55s supported village?) I live independently, I hoard but am working on that, I dont shower regularly or wash my clothes because I have mental illness. I find being around people difficult, and I told him only the week before I would like to move as it getting to busy about me up a mountain at the end of the road. He also asked me every month how work was? He knew I was unemployed and having issues with Centrelink. He apologised for that , and as part of my illness when I feel overwhelmed I will flee which I did on this day. I never mentioned not seeing him again.
I have phoned the organisation twice to find out why but he just does not respond.
So now I have to begin the process again , after five months. So I can not be on anything else except Newstart.

I look at the supposed professional who I have to have write a letter in regard to my mental health for Disability Support Pension and who has made no effort to get to know anything about me. I know that psychiatrist often are more about medication, and I am better on the medication he commenced me on. Worth it to me to stay on it even though some side effects are not great. I feel because I have been a mental health nurse I am not so in awe of the profession. I have a brilliant psychologist and gp, both I have been seeing for some time, but my psychologist is not a clinical one and so disability support want me to see a psychiatrist ..I have to stay on Newstart. I continue to practice the things that help me with triggers, and hope that something will work with my case worker. Oh I have still not received a message that someone was going to call me and that was three days ago now.

I am OK I wanted to share this as it is the reality of my life and my CPTSD. It is why I am unable to work, and something I struggle with. I prefer to be on my own and talk and meet people when I am able and in control so I can leave when I wish or need too.
I find that so many people do not understand that after these episodes I am exhausted physically and emotionally, my mental health deteriorates and If I am able to do the treatments I know and use that will help me move through the issue it will take me some times a couple of days before I can deal with anything anyone involved in the issue. I feel ashamed and embarrassed . If I could stop the behaviours the responses I would; but fighting(anger), fleeing (escaping), or freezing (dissociation) are my inbuilt safety survival methods. It is how I have managed my illness. It is what has kept me working living and being a part life. The relearning and implementation of new methods is a long road, and may not be always successful.

Tazzie blessings

January 19, 2020 13

Happy Birdday to me!

I am sitting writing with a full tummy. My dogs are snoozing near me one at my feet the other on her chair next to me. I feel like a cup of mint tea. I need to go to my deck and pick some mint. I get up and both dogs raise their heads, looking at me tails wagging..I am just going to the deck to get some mint, I tell them. I know they don’t understand the words necessarily just that I am going. So I open the door and the three of us step outside onto the deck.

Something made me think to check the bird bath, so we all go down the stairs, and sure enough the bird bath needs filling. Busby goes of in search of something, and Miss Treacle uses the extensive amenities provided for ablutions. As I fill the bird bath I notice I have left the vegie garden gate open after I watered this morning

last of the Anzac peaches 16/01/2020 (c)Echidna Home 2020

I picked the last of the peaches off my tree, the birds have been eating them so I left some for them and more for me. I tried to dry some but not sure what went wrong. Perhaps cling stones are not supposed to be dehydrated. Might try again.

Oh No it is 7pm and I have already seen a wallaby eating some of the peaches on the ground. I go over look in and make sure no little furry creatures are hiding in my vegetable garden waiting for a table for one, when the stars come out to dine on exquisite fresh locally grown seasonal organic vegetables. It is clear of waiting diner/s, I close the gate gather the dogs and we all head back inside.

Living at 42degrees South of the equator means with daylight saving added the sun does not actually set until 20:50 so it is still blue sky and sunshine as I type. It has been cooler today one of my friends commented she had her wood fire on. It was not cold enough here for that but I did have a jumper and ugg boots on. The joys of living here in the Huon Valley in summer are stunning evenings, long twilight’s and often stunning sunsets. The smoke has all gone and we have had some rain. My garden and water tanks are happy about that.

I was thrilled to see the Grey Shrike Thrush birds have returned to my light fitting in the carport to nest again. I do worry that it is a very precarious spot. I had meant to make sure that it was safe wired so if they did return they were not at risk of the base separating from the top. It is on my list. Fingers cross that they raise chicks and all fly the nest. In researching them I know that they steal eggs eating them from other birds..but so do many other birds, kookaburras will eat the chicks, ravens, crows. I imagine if I removed the nest they would build another. I like that they feel safe here.

When I was out yesterday I also captured some birds along the riverside. I saw a workman, well four sitting at the park having their lunch break. I had decided to stop and take some shots of the ducks.(they are so lovely) I sat in the shade of a tree and watched as one of the workmen went back to the truck I noticed all the ducks turned to watch him and see what he was doing. It was really funny they were in almost exact sync.

I can only think that it was not the first time this group had stopped here. As I watched the ducks followed the man to the table where his colleagues were eating. I watched as he began to feed the ducks.

It was charming and made me again acknowledge there are many more wonderful people in the world than unpleasant people. I was sad to see only one duckling. If it was the same group that I saw last week there had been three ducklings swimming behind Mamma.

Further along on my way home, I came across a sight of interest, as I said it was cool and smokey yesterday. (again I apologise for the quality of the images, they were taken as Tiff(NEF)) photos and I altered them to be JPEGS so some things lost in the transition. I am working on how to stop this.

ducks a shag and plovers all sharing the one log roost.

This photo was of different breeds of birds all sitting on the log ducks, shag, and plovers. It was windy.

The bird below is a Little Pied Cormorant colloquially called a Shag, it was struggling to hold onto its perch. Not sure if it was the wind or just a wobbly bird. They nearly always have such a grumpy look on their faces.

Little Pied Cormorant (c) Echidna Home 2020

All in all it has been a hectic couple of days and it was lovely to be home all day today.

Tazzie blessings to you all.

January 17, 2020 8

The credit card trap

The clock strikes midnight and there is the end to Christmas 2019! Instantly every media area is full of Summer Sales, End of the Year Sales, the news is filled with that retail is concerned about the pre Christmas sales and not enough spending before so their hope is money will be spent at the sales. Credit card debt and personal debt in Australia is increasing rapidly. Yet when I go to second hand shops and tip shops I see so many incredible items with no wear some with tags still on, in great condition. I recently picked up a bed side light for $10. I needed one, but could not afford to buy any new that I had seen. This was a solid metal durable movable one. I had seen similar new for over $80.

I think I have mentioned previously I do not own a credit card. I learnt the hard way how credit cards can cause financial problems. I had one as I was looking at buying a house. I had previously had a personal loan for a car, and I assumed this would be enough to provide proof of my history for paying back the loan. I was knocked back for a mortgage as there was not a recent credit history!

I struggled to comprehend how this could be since I had no debts. Seemed the banks did not like that.

It was suggested I get a credit card, to establish a credit history. Sigh. So I did. I requested the lowest amount as my limit. $1000 AUD. Well the out come was I kind of got carried away with what I could now buy! I spent more money than I earned and before I knew it my balance was $1000. I paid it off $200 a month as I was paid monthly at that time.

Then Christmas was coming and I wanted to give friends and family great gifts. The balance on my credit card was about $500 at this point so I contacted the bank and requested an increase in the value of my line of credit. They put it up to $5000 it went to my head. Christmas coming and friends saying lets go for a holiday to Queensland. I was in spending heaven.

I listened to things my family and friends said they would like for Christmas and went and bought the dearest thing they mentioned. I want to make them so happy. I said yes to the trip and paid airfare accommodation on the credit card. I felt so excited. It was going to be a brilliant Christmas! I also had the trip to look forward to in mid January. I had no savings, and was just paying the minimum monthly payment on my card. I worked and bought take away food and coffees everyday. I also went out a lot socially dancing and eating out with friends. I was living the life.

Christmas came and my extravagant gifts were appreciated. I felt so good. I was now looking forward to our holiday.

On arriving home, I was so happy. I had had a lovely Christmas. One of my friends rang a night or two later and said lets go grab a meal. I said OK. Nice meal and we laughed and enjoyed being together. The bill came and I put my credit card on the table to pay my share and my friend put cash. The waiter took it away but a short time later came back and said I am sorry but your card has been declined. I was mortified. I walked over to use my debit card. Insufficient funds. Oh my there must be some mistake. My friend fortunately had enough cash to cover my share and I said I would pay her back as soon as possible. Which I did.

I paid a bit of the card to get it back under its limit but in not too long it was up again and I struggled to pay anything than the minimum payment off, I ended up paying a few dollars more to bring it back under the limit. I was still spending on it though.

I went to pay my electricity bill a couple of months later and my credit card was declined again. Not only that they informed me it had to be cut up! I was so embarrassed. As this was a final demand or my power would be cut off if the bill was not paid by that date.

On the way home I checked my bank balance $3.60 woah! (I would not be paid for two more weeks). That was all the money I had in the world! I was over $5000 in debt and my power was going to be cut off. I had some groceries and a bit of a pantry even back then. However if my power went off my fridge would not work nor my fully electric oven or the microwave or washing machine in my rental flat. I was very fortunate at this point in one way that my rent for the month was taken out the day my monthly pay went into my bank account.

I was going to be two weeks before I had any more money. The power went off on Friday afternoon, and I went all weekend with no power. I was so up set and shocked at my situation. I was going to a family dinner on the Saturday night, and realised I was going to have to tell them my situation.

I did and it was bad, I was so upset at myself and embarrassed, and neither parent would lend me any money as they thought is would be better that I really learn the lesson of living on what you earn! I was devastated as I really believed they would rescue me. I left early returning to my dark flat and cried angry tears at them for not helping me.

I ate some really weird food over the next two weeks. I had no social life, as I could not bring a plate, or go out to eat. Or even a coffee. It was work, home hand wash some clothes, work out what I could eat. Let me tell you cereal with water is not very nice. But it filled a empty stomach. I ate cold baked beans, and spaghetti no bread. I ate cold tinned soup mixed with water cold. I was incredibly fortunate I was renting a unit water still operated even with out my power.

When I finally got paid I had to pay a re connection fee and the bill.

The good news with this experience was I have never had a credit card again! I live quite OK with out. I only live on what I have and budgeting and shopping lists and my pantry have been the difference. I pay my bills when they come in. I don’t wait until the due date, as If I have some money in my account after my costs I pay some of it off the bill and when my next payment comes in I pay the rest. I will even pay extra on them.

Why on earth would anyone do that? It gives me some wiggle room. Now I am on a very low income I have to be very aware of when my big bills are due. My home and content insurance and my rates. I am very fortunate that my council has quarterly payments, as this year for the first time I am paying the quarterly but even then I pay more if I have it.

When my insurance is due, I usually do a few weeks of spending very little if I have not been able to budget enough fortnightly to save for it.

The most interesting thing is I don’t really recall the holiday I took, or what I purchased, the place I ate out or clothes I bought. I had fun and the friends I was so generous with are not in my life anymore. The regret I have is how much I spent and that I thought I could buy friendship. I regret extending the credit card beyond my financial income and needs. I still would have been able to go away on the holiday.

Did the credit card help me get a mortgage it must have because when I re applied for a mortgage I got it. What having a credit card did for me was to put me in a situation I never wanted to be in again.

I was really hurt and angry when no one in my family would rescue me. As it is this episode of tough love was the best thing they could have done for me in the long term. It changed my mentality.

I may live on a tight budget and am frugal. I still can afford to meet up for a coffee at a cafe (as I don’t let anyone into my home that is another post). I look at what I have. I am not against anybody going to the sales if they need something.

The things I am really thankful for are that I own my home out right, that I have no debt. If I was not in this situation when I had my breakdown and was so ill mentally I have no idea what would have happened to me. Even being in this situation I did have thoughts of suicide. I can not imagine what might have been if I in such a secure environment had these thoughts, how much harder it would be if I was paying a mortgage, or renting. I would have lost my home, not been able to afford to rent. I may be homeless living in my car not working. I know this is a situation for many people. I know I am so rich and fortunate. I have a good roof over my head. I have clean water to drink, I am content.

I don’t have children. So again this does make it easier in so many ways for me. I still believe that if you have a mortgage you need to be paying this off first and foremost. If you become ill or loose your job, how will you pay for it? Perhaps you have income insurance, great ..

I have spoken to a someone I know recently as we were talking about finances and she asked me how I could live with out a credit card. I said pretty easily really. Firstly even if you do pay you full amount off every month you still have to pay an annual fee for the privileged of having a credit card. She is also paying a mortgage. We chatted about how much a month she spends on her credit card it was a lot to me. She is on a good income. I asked her did she need what she spent on her credit card, or was it she wanted the things. She looked at me. I looked at her and said that is how I began to realise how to pay off my debts.

If you need something that is fine. If you want it, why do you want it. Look at how much you could save if you added that to your credit card debts/mortgage. (This is another post in the near future)
I said to her CUT UP YOUR CREDIT CARD! You can learn to live without it. Using cash brings you back in touch with the value of money. You take it out of your bank account…you have to hand the money to pay for the things you need or want. You begin to see where YOUR money is really going.

I am fortunate as on a benefit I have a bank account that I do not have any charges on. (Thank You Bendigo Bank, I get nothing for saying this). I pay cash for nearly everything.

Perhaps it is living in a rural town community, that makes a difference. If I don’t quite have the money to pay for the groceries on the day, and I hardly ever do this, but my local independent grocery store will let me pay it when I can, usually for me it is the next day. I also use local tyre company and they will let me pay off tyres (set of 4) I am also able to get an interest free loan up to $1000 through a government scheme. So there is a support there if I needed it. I have filled up my car and gone to pay, and not realised that my automatic payment for my internet was taken out leaving me less money(i know my dates now) and fortunately the guys at the petrol station no me, and I could pay them next week. I do not make a habit of not having enough money. I now check my balances and make sure that I have enough petrol to get me to my next payment date. though life can cause things to happen where petrol is required to be used that I have not budgeted for.

I do not have savings per say because extra money is usually earmarked for a bill in the future.

Perhaps the most important thing for me with my Complex PTSD is that I keep my stress as far as possible to a minimum. Being debt free has helped immensely with that. Learning to be content being at home has also been a saving bonus and a joyful thing. Part of my managing the many issues that my illness can cause me is minimising things that I may get anxious about. Distressed about, so knowing where my money has to go is the first step in my planning for the next 12 months. Anything that I can put in place to help me manage helps me to live in more contentment. Not having debts. Huge HUGE

Tazzie

January 16, 2020 6

Australia vulnerable due to high household debts

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