Here I am:…

Heck here it is July, I feel as if I have been on a different planet over the last few months. Its is all good just nary a post.
Winter here in glorious Southern Tasmania the wood fire is going, and snow is on the distant mountains, as I sit writing listening to my two dogs are chomping on bones. We have all been on a short walk. The frost is still present and the sun has not reached my place as yet.

However today is going to be glorious and whilst I wait for the sun to come over the trees(how I wished I lived on top of the hill and not down near the river lol, though in summer I am happy in this position). I aim to get back into the garden, to clear an area of my ‘veggie growing area’. I also aim to dig at least one hole a day for about 10 days for the new fruit plants I have purchased that will be coming soon as bare rooted stock.

My mental health on the whole is good, I have no regrets about coming off my medication (with support) for me it was such a wonderful thing to get me through the really bad period, as I had and continue to have support from my psychologist. I knew it was time. I have not had an ADHD assessment done, yet in my heart I believe it is a fact, and wow if I had known years ago what a difference it would have made in lots of ways. Now this knowledge lets me relax about so many things that often would cause me anxiety and distress.

I took a break of several hours and worked outside in the garden. Winter gardening is all about the weeds and planning. Preparing and dreaming. I am just pottering attending to so many things slowly that have been neglected or forgotten in the last few years. Self care was my highest priority as I adjusted to life with a mental illness, asking for help (hard to do for me) and utilising the help both medication and professional. I feel right now as if I know what I need. I am working towards this and as I do I am content, even with any discontent.

Today lovely sunny one down here in the Huon still and just one of those great winter days. I decided to begin on an area of neglect in between the chicken run and my veggie garden. I had attempted to before I became ill create a pathway for the chooks out to the paddock, so they could not be tempted into the veggie garden. Well that all fell by the wayside and what I was left with is blue steel fencing embedded into the soil (that had made itself over the last 5 years and impaled by the most horrendous grass ever. (I call it onion grass because it bulbs and spreads and its a nightmare).

In the final photo you can get an idea of how deeply buried the fencing wire mesh was. Still more to do. I sort of got sidetracked when I popped into the veggie area and decided to weed a bed. I did come back and pick up all the onion grass and all bulbits I could (little buggers always miss one or many!) Used the top of the old dog house to through all these horrible pulled and cut out grass bulbs, which means no touching the dirt. Tool of choice was a serrated edge steak knife!

The garden bed I was distracted by. A lovely weed filled bed with grass growing around it and weeds. is the one on the left of first photo, completed clearing around the edges and inside. Winter is proving to be the time the weeds are sprouting here at my place.
I may not have dug a hole and prepared for a new or older plant to go in today, I did weed a bed, always choices when you have a garden and always manyana.

I am now looking forward to tomorrow, as the weather is again meant to be lovely as today. I have my eager helpers the dog/s and chickens and I hope to do more of the buried treasure recovery.

blessings to You, Tassie.

July 3, 2022 13

Pt 6 Withdrawal experience with a look at my garden and what is happening.

Warning please seek medical support prior to going off any mental health medication. Withdrawal from medication/s is a very individual experience and my experience is mine alone. I do not encourage anyone from stopping any mental health medication without support of your GP, Psychiatrist and Psychologist. I worked as a mental health qualified Registered Nurse RPN and RN I did not mean to do my cessation like this this it was very much situational.

Day 15. I know some of my readers have been missing my ‘normal posts’. I have been thinking about this a lot; I woke up this morning I decided to share my garden as it is right now. Heading towards the end of summer here where I live in the Tasmania’s Southern most Council in Australia.
I can not explain how different I am to how I was just three weeks ago. I am one very lucky woman, I as any of you have been reading my withdrawal posts know am doing cold turkey of the medication. Not deliberately but through situational a comedy of errors so to speak. You can read about that here https://wordpress.com/post/echidna.home.blog/7015

My vegetable garden is a sad representation of its normal self. A combination of how I was feeling on my medication, Busby my larger dog having a Cruciate Ligament operation, and no rain since December/very early January has impacted a lot.
My deck garden has been cared for and I am learning so much what I can grow on it and the possibilities for next spring and summer. I am planning and have planted seeds with the aim to have beets, carrots, brassicas and a few other bits and pieces from my deck.

My front entrance garden is basically just dirt. I have watered and fed it, the fact that my garden is one of the very few now in my area that is accessible and provides the native and non natives food and greens along with seeds and my veggie waste sees the front of my home at times a bit like Dr Doolittle’s or at least how I imagine it.

What I am finding as such a positive change is that I am just doing it. I am just getting into clearing mess and dirt including much to my mortification mice droppings and the odd dead one. So far no more nests. Today I began in the kitchen. The floor was/is revolting. I am so please that I have removed so much dirt and mice mess. I went into one of my storage cupboards where I have tinned items. Discovering that mice love labels, I am thankful that they have left parts of at least one, and I know that I stored them in like with like. I will have a few exciting unknown tins. Most of these are beans or tomatoes. I have not done any preserving/bottling of any sort this year. Knowing I had quite a lot of tinned items I had purchased over the last few years on top of the things I had made last year and the year/s before. I am old enough to not care about dates on tinned or jar purchased items. Similar with dried beans. I was taught by my Gran what to look for in bad or suspect tins.

I am set for Autumn and Winter lovelies. I actually feel I could live on my pantry stores for the whole of winter and only have to purchase flour, fresh veggies I might need, meat and dog food. So incredible to have this. I feel so wealthy. I also have plenty of fresh herbs, spices, and if I can ever discover where my hens are laying their eggs, I imagine as last year the dogs and I had enough eggs for our own needs over winter.

It is so hard to attempt to explain to others, that I am beginning to feel like the memories I recall off before my breakdown and how I felt. I need to reassure you that I had ups and downs back then as any normal person. I also experienced bouts of depression over the years with the extremes that implies.

What I am incredibly aware of is the possibility is ever present that once off my medication and completed the withdrawal process, there is always a chance I will need to go on medication.

The difference for me now to previous is I have changed my thinking process. I have worked through and continue to work through the feelings and life issues that created what I have lived with for way too many years. No contact with those who abused and neglected me throughout my life was the biggest intentional change along with telling them they were not welcome in my home ever again.
I am also privileged and am very very aware of how fortunate I have been to be seeing at now cost to me ever the same psychologist for several years perhaps four. Someone I respect greatly because as anyone who has mental health illness is aware so often, especially when you are on low income or as I was and remain on Government support. Your psychologist/counsellor/psychiatrist seems to change regularly. Which for me in the past has been detrimental and to have to begin again sees me avoid the whole process. It was also the problem of not connecting with quite a few of the psychologists over the years. I am not one for lectures and homework, goal setting or those positive/mindful platitudes that so many folk have seemed to feel helpful for my mental illness and getting well. If they work for you great. Treatment for mental health illnesses are as varied as the individuals experience of the illness.
Under the Disabilty pension I am on now I have access to the National Disablity Insurance Scheme gives me a certain amount of financial access to support and service to enable me to live my life. I am able to continue to see my psychologist. I pay nothing for this and I am able to see her every 3 weeks. We have been Zooming since COVID. I am appreciative as I do not have to do a return trip to Hobart every 3 weeks a round trip of almost 200kms. We are also currently paying over $1.85AUD/1.34 USD/ 1GBP/1.19euro per liter/0.26th gallon(1 gallon is equal to 3.74 litres, so one gallon of petrol cheapes andlowest rated in Australia cost $6.92AUD/$5.00USD) so for the cheapest petrol pump your own. The petrol station in Cygnet(closest village to me) has a full service petrol station. I am not aware of the price there but is several cents a litre more expensive. Oops of on a tangent. I will have a face to face appointment in a few months probably.

For me I am delighted with how I am feeling, and doing things, even with the negative withdrawal symptoms of coming suddenly off Desvenalfaxine/Pristiq. There are some that continue such as joint and muscle pain, and short shape pains like a needle prick regularly. I am still a little dizzy at times and or light headed. I am no longer nauseous. I still feel cold often and no my iron levels and all other vitamin levels that impact your body feeling cold nor am I menopausal. We are having warm humid weather summertime here!. I put it down to withdrawing. I continue to not be hungry and eating simple but pretty healthily. I cooked a whole chicken and generally eating a chicken wrap with salad. Nuts and some apples from last year. (new seasons coming Yipee). Or as tonight I made a beef laska from my left over roast.
I have to really work at myself to get to bed at good time for me. Lights out no later than 10:30pm. Preferably earlier.

As the withdrawal symptoms play around with me, I know that considering I stopped cold turkey I have been very fortunate with how little they have really impacted me. For this I am so appreciative. I know that I am one of the lucky ones so far with my experience of sudden withdrawal.

blessings to You, Tazzie

March 1, 2022 7

Springtime in Southern Tasmania

What a difference a day of sunshine makes to a lot of things. Here in Australia we have begun daylight savings, ( a week ago). Putting the clocks forward, it caught me by surprise. It was not until I went up to my friends three days later that I discovered that this had happened. I have to laugh at myself. Clocks really do not have any meaning to me these days. Unless I have an appointment. I really do not worry about it the clock that is. Time on the other hand is totally a quandary. I can know longer know by the sunlight what time it is. As the days here in Southern Tasmania get longer time seems to distort.
It has seen me not going to bed till the very wee small hours. Which for me is not such an issue and I am very fortunate.

After spending time sitting with my friends and their dog Toby on their deck, having a lovely morning tea, as the dogs played and the cockatoos screeched.

It sure beat the previous few days, though in between showers I did manage to do something very needed.

It was so great to have been able to spend this lovely day with my neighbours and their dog. The weather deteriorated I endevoured to keep active and give the dogs some nice experiences as the weather was not going to improve for a week or more.

Whilst I find I am able to some things so many more just continue to be on lists. I do get frustrated with myself at times. Yet this is the reality of my life the fact is I am definitely not lacking motivation. I can do things at times. Yet the things that I not able to do are the very things which would make it so much easier in my life. I continue to move things out of the house. I really struggle with my CPTSD (complex post traumatic stress disorder) every day there is something that will impact me. I hold on tight to the fact that my mental health is good most of the time, I am so very fortunate safe and secure where I live. I am fed up with the wet weather, and we have more storms coming. It is making it hard to work in the garden and pop in spring flowers seeds.
My seedlings for the veggie garden are doing pretty well and my hope is next week I am able to get in and tend to the beds.

Blessings to You, Tazzie

October 19, 2021 1

Winter End Garden Tour

I have shared about myself and what my life has been like over the past few months living with CPTSD. It seems to me writing here assists me so much. Seeing my thoughts/activities/feelings in print help me see how far I have come in my life with this illness. Learning to live my life accepting how I move through each day no matter how and what is happening in my life and life around me. I am proud of myself that I keep moving forward no matter how minuscule it may be.

Lets look at what is happening in the garden. Here in the Southern Hemisphere we being our Spring Season very soon; the problem tends to be I along with many others feel the days lengthen and see the weeds growing all the new growth everywhere. I feel the urge to sow seeds. I have to hold myself back and wait wait.. which I have been doing, today I intend to plant a few in pots to germinate in side.

Lets go for a walk around my gardens in the last few days of the yearly Winter season.

The first photos are the small garden in front of my home, my chooks have been allowed to free range and they have been turning the soil hunting for bugs and turning the soil. Along with damaging the rhubarb and a little damage to other plants in the small space.
Down the side of the house I have my perfumed geranium which was damaged in the gale force winds we had recently, it looks a bit bedraggled. I would have pruned it myself, the weather having done it for me means one less item on my list for the garden.
The last two photos are of my red wattle tree. I was so sad to see that this young sapling had been badly damaged in the gale wind. I really hope that I can prune it and save this lovely tree.

Where land cleared of blackberries and old wattle trees

Oh look capsicums/peppers left on bush..still going.

One of my plums I have been clearing around and prunning

I feel like I have done very little during winter, yet when I review the photos I have been doing small things. On top of this each day I walk around and pull weeds out of the paddock area.
We have had a very wet few weeks very wet. This has made it more difficult to continue to clear around the fruit trees as the ground is too wet.

The joy of my garden and the hope that I will get seeds in and growing for my own vegetables and food. Rain and colder days are on the agenda for a few more days.

The chooks ahh the chooks sadly I have three roosters, and only five girls. Rupert has been amazing with the chicks but they have all grown up now and I have to attend to reducing the number of roosters, as they will be to much and to mean for the few girls I have. Sadly only one of the female chicks have survived to now. I also lost one of my original hens one of the brown girls. Penny I am not holding out any hope that she is nesting anywhere. My neighbours have also got new hens, and both my neighbour and I have noted that a Sea Eagle has been flying around everyday. This may be part of why my hens have disappeared along with one of the rooster chicks (perhaps not so bad one less for me to attend).

I have been taking my vitamin D as down here we have such low levels of sun over this time of year it is a necessity. It also helps with mood and lessening seasonal affective disorder. (SAD)

It is great to wake up each day, to see how beautiful my garden is looking. I am so thankful to have such a great area to create my space.

I am thankful to those of you who read my posts, blessings to You all. Tazzie

August 26, 2021 2

All things beginning with C.

I think it is Tuesday March 17th, just checked and it is. it is 13:20 on a stunning Autumn day in the Huon Valley my home region in Tasmania. I have taken a while to get a sense of what happened recently the after affects impaired me and I felt no desire to do or be anywhere, to be with anyone, just being with my dogs, chooks and at home is the recovery and medicine I have required. It has taken time, and a lot of management strategies to not sink towards the black hole, it would have been so easy. I work constantly at not going back.

I moved on from beating myself up and began to consider what a really good person I am. Compassionate, to empathetic and kind. Would I change myself NO. No I am me, and I honestly do like me more and more. I am so very very fortunate to be able to be totally myself and still part of such an incredible community. I sigh as I write and know that I am so very very fortunate. I m safe here. What an incredible gift that is.

I look at the horse tail wispy clouds with the blue sky listening to the hum of bees, and flies, the chug of a Aquaculture vessel coming up the river and feel the sun beating on my legs as I watch cabbage moths trying to find unprotected brassicas to lay her eggs on. My dogs are chewing bones near bye. I am aware of the European wasp that has invaded Tassie. As it will seek out any meat left outside as too flies. I know that is why the blowies (blow flies) are zooming about Miss Treacle as she is eating hers. Busby’s is all gone.

A wattle bird just let out a call that is hard to describe and was answered by another. This morning I have let out the chicks and Frida Kahol too free range in the chook run with everyone else. She is an incredible Mamma, I am a bit fearful as I lost two chicks in one fowl swoop to a grey Goshawk two weeks ago. The decision was made by Frida as I had put a fence (I use it on the deck to keep the wallabies off it at night) around their chick house. I had let them out and was tending to the other hens and Roopert when I heard much distressed chirping Frida Kahol had flown the coop! The smallest of the chicks, a bantam I feel as it is a great deal tinier than the others, had managed to get through the bars but the other six chicks were not able to follow their Mamma.

I had to remove the fence and allow nature and Frida to take their chances with the remaining seven chicks. I have noticed that Henny (the darker of my two brown hens her sister is Penny) is broody and I am working hard to ensure that I do not have more chicks this season.

I have also it seems been able to keep all the poultry in the run. I do miss seeing them outside in the paddock, I do not miss the digging up of plants and seeds, and dust bathing hollows they leave in my garden and paddock where I can stumble into them unwittingly.

It is green looking over the river and at parts of my paddock grass, yet here on this side of the river we have had little rain compared to across the river. It is very surreal to be sitting here in March with almost full rain water tanks (from a couple of weeks ago) and green grass. It is normally dry and I ponder if I need to consider buying water.

Am I repeating myself. Maybe its Ok, Pretty normal for me after being triggered.

Life has not stood still even with the emotions and dealing with the aftermath of being triggered. I have shared previously that I have been waiting on being notified of when I will be having a colonoscopy, unlike the USA in Australia you do not automatically have one on turning 50. Here it is only if there is a concern. I was listed in the highest priority case due to symptoms. I had not heard anything and the timeline I should have heard had passed.
There are some things having been an RN helps with, and that is feeling able to contact the appropriate department to inquire. So last week I did phone them to discover my file was in a drawer, and who knows if I had not called when I might have heard. (off course my mind has taken me to dying with colon cancer and all that goes with it in the months I have been waiting). Knowing that Australia has one of the highest rates of colon cancer in the world does not help. Early diagnosis is the best help to survival.
I rang and was rung back the next day first thing in the morning. I am booked in soon. I have recieved all the instructions in the mail, and I feel that the actual preparation will be far worse than the procedure, having worked in colonoscopy as a casual RN I am very aware of what occurs and I am not too concerned about the procedure. My only concerns were with what to do with my dogs.

The thing that is extremely difficult for me with my CPTSD is actually telling people in the first place and then asking for someone to assist me in anyway. I find it almost impossible to ask for help.
At first I thought right I can not bare the thought of telling anyone, and I can not bare the thought of being away from my dogs. I wanted to drive myself there and back both things not supported by the hospital or I imagine my insurance. So I considered a dog friendly B and B for two nights. (My hospital wants you to be with someone overnight after the procedure, as its policy). That is not going to happen. I am not having a general anesthetic, it is a twilight one. While it is not safe enough to drive myself home, I do not need anyone with me overnight.
I did share with someone who has kindly offered to drive me and bring me home. The appointment is made and I will be away from home less than 6 hours all up (proviso that all goes well). My dogs are quite content to be at home as long as they have had a run and used their bowels. So I put logic and fugal me in charge and will be home before and after the procedure.

I am now aware of how much distress was on me with not having any acknowledgement other than the letter advising me I was highest priority a date range that had past and me taking the bull by the horns and following up.
I am so pleased I found the courage to do that. If anyone in Australia is in a similar situation contact the Endoscopy unit and ask them when your procedure will be please.

I have also been accepted for the National Disability Scheme (NDIS), and have a meeting with someone from their in the near future to see what I might need. As my mental illness/s has seen me accepted on the Disability Support Pension (DSP) it means that I can request my psychology appointments be on the NDIS, and that means my Psychologist can bulk bill me. I am not sure how she has been charging me before this, as I have paid nothing to see this wonderful woman.
The veggie garden is doing OK my tomatoes the few I have picked have been delicious, I noted this morning something has taken two green tomatoes and pecked them I am blaming the blackbirds or starlings. I have pumpkins, and a couple of zucchinis. My peppers are fruiting but will they ripen before the cold sets in? Not a cucumber or tomatillo has appeared. I have at some stage to pull up the sweet potatoes. I hold no hope for any this year. I will cut some slips for next year. I have not emptied my last pot of potatoes as they have not flowered yet.
It has been a better year this year for veggies than last year and I learn as I go. I am averaging 3 eggs a day. I will be winter glassing a lot of eggs. To provide me with eggs during the off season. I do not want to burn my girls out with keeping them laying or year. As hens only have as many eggs in their systems as they will lay over the course of their life.

I have not showered in way too long, and will be soon, I have been eating a bit better, and generally getting to bed early. Dogs are walking I am driving. Right now I am really just focusing on the things I need to do for next period of time and as too diet I have to follow instructions nearly every thing I actually eat is not on my menu for next period of time. Clear broths, clear juices, I have minimised my coffee in take already. I have noticed that the preparation fluid for the colonoscopy has aspartame in it sigh I really dislike any artificially sweeteners, but I have no choice. Thankfully I can take my medication.

While I know I am anxious about what is still to occur and the results. Just knowing the date and time it is going to happen is a relief.

blessings to You, Tazzie.

March 17, 2021 3

Carrots a success story

Why are carrots so hard for me to grow? This is my most successful crop so far.
Any help appreciated . They are tasty, and enough for a meal for me. Or a good supply for lilliputians.

Seriously these were just seeds I had spread about in a few pots on my deck. I am assuming that they needed to stay in for a bit longer.

I wanted to revive the pots and sow some more seeds in them. I have been tidying the deck today. My lettuces are doing OK, one variety has gone to seed. But some others are just developing and the cos is growing, I actually ate some of the leaves of one of them recently with my wee tomatoes. Oh were they so tasty. Just incredible.

Above are some beans I threw in my half wine barrels, along with kale cornflowers and weeds. The iris (brown leaves) have been broken up for composting around them. I ate some of the bigger beans as a snack today. Lovely. I am enjoying my surprise barrels. I sit at my table on my deck when I sow seeds, and often for no real reason I just toss some seeds into the barrels. I am very delighted with what is growing at present.
I have kale, silverbeet and a calendula. These are the three pots in the most shaded part of my front west facing garden. Running along the front of the deck.

Marshmellow Black Beauty and Penny enjoying the green shoots of the grass

My idea of keeping the hens and Roopert in their run is failing. Sigh. It has rained and there is green grass shooting. Unheard of in February. Normally our hottest month. More rain forecast this weekend and heavy. Fuller rain tanks nothing will be the joy of this if it eventuates.

Tulle protecting my plums my new faviourite way to keep birds and insects off. and possums

My Deck garden is containers. I am amazed at what I can grow in pots. The benefit is wallabies and possums do not get at them. The chooks can not get at them, or dig under them. Even the starlings and black birds do not tend to get into them like the veggie garden beds. I can cover them easily to prevent cabbage moth damag.

cucumbers fore ground, purple sweet potato middle, potaoes right side, and terracotta coloured pot.

Flowers are becoming a part of my deck garden this year and perhaps more so. In with vegetables they make me smile and happy to see.

Below are my firs attempts at making apricot and peach fruit leathers. There is nothing wrong with the one in the tray it is how apricots dry when no sulpher is used. My peaches were to moist and I should have read up more on what to do but I know next time. (they dripped through) I am not happy with these trays which have not been used a lot. They are cracking. To replace them is not cheap. My dream is to save for a metal set up ie very expensive Excalibur Dehydrator which is also a square one, which is easier to put the puree on and the fruit. The temperature is more evenly spread. The difference in colour of my apricot leather the heat/air in the round ones is not dispersed so well. Lovely with some desiccated coconut. I did add a little sugar but not a lot.

The peach ones are at the front and due to their being so moist they dried very differently. I am trying to dry some hard enough no dry enough that I can then powder the peach. I can then add the powder to tea, and yohgurt. Cream ice cream even my weet-bix. It was simpler than doing a syrup or jam, and I am not a big jam eater. I am enjoying the leathers, and will be buying some seconds strawberries to make strawberry leather too.
I will freeze the plums I think.

The blackberries are ripening and so delicious. I am freezing these for muffins and yoghurt, and winter porridge.

I am thankful for the rain , as I have enough water for my gardens, I am thankful for all the beautiful things in my garden. I am thankful to Mother Earth for her wonders and how a tiny seed can grow and give us food. I am thankful to my hens for the eggs they provide for me and my dogs. I am thankful for my health and the improving of my mental health as I get back to my routine.

February 1, 2021 6

Hello again. Its been a while.

Having a mental illness such as CPTSD really can stuff up so many of your plans..then add the crazy summer weather here in my part of Tasmania and how my garden is somewhat neglected. I am doing OK though.
It is a rough period in my treatment of my illness. Things coming from out of the blackness of my brain where for so long they have been stored. Being shared with my psychologist and now me working on how to manage the impacts of these. New symptoms such as nightmares, and grinding my teeth. Nightmares that are similar to ones I had as a child. This is the truth behind what it really is like when you are dealing with mental illness and attempting to keep moving ever so tiny amount forward.

This is my life, here on my little acre.

Rain is falling again as I type music to my ears. It is lovely to hear the rain on my metal roof, gurgling down the gutters and the water running into my tanks.

The garden will be very happy. I am very happy and the chooks will be ecstatic in the morning to go out and hunt for worms.

The chooks have been happy as we had rain last week so the grass was showing young green shoots.

At least five of my six hens and Roopert the rooster have. Sadly it seems I have lost one of my hens. I live in hope she is sitting on eggs somewhere and will return, there were no feathers to show bird of prey or animal took her. I have seen no sight of her in four days. It is Frieda my larger black hen with the frizzy top knot. Sigh I love and appreciate them all so much. She is a sweet nervous hen who was just getting to the stage of coming and eating out of my hand. I know at least it was not my dog Busby loving her to death. He has been incredibly good around them. I have been working with him to minimise harm to them and the wallabies.
I am remaining hopeful.

Today was a lovely morning. The joy I feel when I go off to do my weekly bits and bobs in my local town is always pleasant. I meet and catch up with so many people. Today I had breakfast at Cygnet Port Hole Cafe which does a delicious menu. Very reasonably priced menu. Pretty good coffee too. It is lovely to sit outside with my dogs and look at the gardens about the cafe that grow herbs and some veggies flowers and I think there is an apple tree and plum.
It has been several cafes in my time of living here most memorable and original was The Lotus Eaters, but this new cafe is equal to it as a meeting place and good food at reasonable prices.
On Friday nights they do Tacos and music.

I really enjoy taking my library books back and looking for new ones. We have an amazing library with such a plethora of reading material available state wide. I know I am feeling somewhat more competent as I have picked up some books that are more emotive ie the rise of feminsim in China, and a few others that are of interest to me. One about the impact of social media on society. Depending on how they are written and if my brain can manage them with out to much frustration I look forward to enjoying them.

I am getting organised for winter. Though some days and nights here lately you can think winter has already arrived. A few people have had their fires going. I just turn my electric blanket on and head to bed with my laptop..lol or put on my Ugg boots and winter trackies. I ordered wood for winter. I have a good amount left over from last year and the year before I need to move and stack under cover. So the new wood can be put where this is. My mind says plenty of time for me to attend to that. It is no due until February. UNTIL I suddenly realised February is this week!

As the next day is just as likely to be super hot. My house if I put the fire on takes a day to cool down.

Routine wise I am eating better, and averaging out getting to bed earlier. Showering has improved and I have walked twice this week up the road and more when we have been out.

I also changed my bottle gas LPG provider. I was also able to provide my research information on the local community pages so people can see the differences. I have saved over $190+AUS/145Us /106.34GBP a year minimum by going with the new company who also delivers down here three times a week where as my old company delivered only once a week. So if you ran out of gas, which only happened once for me as I do have two bottles 45kg/99lbs ea,
It was when I was really ill. Of course it happened on the day after I would have got the delivery. I had to wait a whole week for gas. Y ou pay rental yearly for the bottle and then each bottle of gas costs so much.

The new company had a great new customer deal so even without that I still save a lot of money a year with the new company.
With my old company if you did not know to check what others in the area were paying you would get charged heaps more I saved money on each bottle just by doing this. Yet their price and rental were still dearer substantially and they have a yearly administration fee.

I have noted that I received a notice in my facebook thread today something that may have triggered my Obsessive part. A lady was travelling on the boat The Spirit of Tasmania (which connects Tasmania to mainland Australia arriving in Melbourne), it is an overnight trip and carries cars our trucks with supplies food and other things, holiday makers campervans etc, you can take your dogs on it. You can place them in their horrible metal crates, or you can pay extra and have them remain in your car, though the company makes you sign a waiver of rights even though it would not stand up in a court of law (since you paid for a service), if something happened. This poor lady was traveling with her much loved doberman, who was put into the dog crates, and somehow the dog escaped. (vanished) No trace so far has been found. You are only allowed down once on the journey if you want to check your dog, otherwise it is locked area only staff are allowed there. The dog this poor dog has not been found, and this woman I can only imagine is devastated.

My own experience of bringing my cat over when I moved here was bad enough I worried all night if my cat would be OK. When I picked him up he was in a huge metal dog crate with a dog bowl that was like a swimming pool that had flowed all over the place and he was saturated. He had also been one crate away from a very large German Shepherd. (most likely a lovely dog) my cat had never been around a dog at this point.
Sigh when we took our dog over to the mainland he travelled in the car we still worried but all was fine with him as he knew where he was and obviously felt safe.

Now I have put posts out to all sorts of groups asking people to contact the Premier Peter Gutweins office and the Minister Michael Fergusons office. Explaining that my dogs are my family they are the reason I am still alive and if this had happened to one of my dogs well who knows how I might have reacted. I explained about my mental illness and the woman at the premiers office said oh like a companion animal yes exactly but not officially.
I went on to say they should have dog friendly rooms available so dogs could travel with their owners in the rooms.
That the cost of all the issues pertaining to animals that have had issues (16polo horses died a few years ago, traveling on the Spirit the court case is still happening I believe), but this is a cost that the Tasmanians people will have to pay someway. As I am sure the legal ramifications of this latest episode.

Plus the many people who travel with their dogs when they come here, will be fearful.

My problem is as much as I want to keep pushing this. For me it makes my mental health and physical health worse.
So I have done what I can as one individual. I must not keep pursuing it or I will get ill again. As I have before when I obsessively operate.
I am well enough to observe the potential for this to happen. I am pleased and proud of myself that I am happy to have done something, and must leave it for now. Hoping the dog is located, and reunited with its owner. Hoping that regardless something will change in the transport of dogs and rights of owners on this trip.

wow this has gone a bit all over the place, but this is how my head is working tonight..

Yet that is pretty much how my day has been.
I am content and happy, I am thankful that I have tools helping me manage the things that are coming as I work through issues. I am thankful for the rain.

blessings to You. Tassie

January 30, 2021 12

Living simply summertime chickens

My lovely white hen who is blind in one eye, is fit and healthy and has begun to lay eggs. She is now back out with the rest of my flock. Her name was going to be ‘Turunga Leela’. Though I have reconsidered as she is sweet and comes running to me as she is now the lowest hen in the pecking order. She is gentle and isolates, anxiety is high, since her time in the house in isolation, I feed her extra treats and ensure she gets food as she is hunted away by Roopert (Rooster) and several of the other hens.

She is now called Marshmellow. I love marshmallows and I have fallen in love with her.

Actually I love all my poultry.

I forgive Roopert all his crowing in the wee small hours . Right now dawn breaks very early, yet my neighbours (who say they do not mind his crowing) say he usually goes off between 2-3am . I am so fortunate that they put up with his crowing, or sometimes I get that self talk of oh they are trying to tell me that they are annoyed by it, that it is not good. It is one of those things that is so hard to know unless people are truthful and tell you it is pissing them off. They are lovely neighbours and I am sure they would tell me, when I said I was fed up a few weeks ago they were horrified that I might get rid of him. They will be getting hens soon.

As we head to the Summer Solstice 21-22/12/2020 (depending on which local site I peruse), we will have over 16 hours of sunlight. As they say all it will pass, these really early crowings as the seasons change.. Though he is great when it is a new moon peace until 4:30am when dawn breaks and how lovely is all the birds song then and I mean that sincerely. The darkness is great for all. I guess we all need to catch up on sleep at some point.

He is a lovable rooster.
Sitting here writing this today when the temperature is over 33 dC here which is really hot for Tasmania

I have given the chooks some watermelon which they are really enjoying. My dogs turned there noses up at it. So more for the chooks.

When it is a warmer night I leave the door open of there house home, so they can get more air circulation.

I love going in to see they are all settled and ensuring they have not knocked the water over. I see Roopert with his faviourite gals on the highest roost. The others all on the next one down. I know I would not be a happy hen living in that sort of hierarchy.

I am averaging 5 eggs a day now and occasionally six. I am inundated with eggs. Neither I or my dogs are complaining. I do share them with neighbours. Hmm the eggs count is fluctuating recently and I have a feeling that I will be discovering a nest of rotten eggs somewhere soon. Having so many eggs (which I do share with neighbours), I have decided to preserve some for winter. The dogs and I love them all year and well why not. I was thinking of water glassing though I believe there is a more modern alternative so will be You Tubing.

I have named all my hens now. Marshmellow because she is a mellow hen my one eyed girl she comes for a cuddle and is now sadly the lowest hen so I spoil her. She is the one I had to care for and we have a special bond.

The two brown gals who spend all their time together, and are Roopert’s gals now sharing the top roost position in the hen house. They have become Henny and Penny.

Then there are my two hens that are black with frizzle feathers on their heads and unusual combs. One is a big hen the other smaller. The big one is Frida, after the artist, and thus the little one is Kahlo. They are more timid.

Black Beauty, with her glossy green sheen on her feathers she is part Barnevelder

My last hen is a gorgeous black green tinged feathered girl. She is Beauty.

I really enjoy going to the hen house in the evening to ensure they are all inside, and have not knocked over their water. They usually will tick me off for disturbing them and shuffle and fluff their feathers. I say thank you for the eggs ladies, and shut them in (tuck them in for the night). I love it as I walk away and here their little chatter , peeps and settling back on the roosts for sleep.

In the morning it is even more interesting if I am later than they would like to be let out, even though they have food and water, Roopert will tick me off. I open the door and he jumps out first, waits and then Henny and Penny are next, Marshmellow waits until they move away and races out, Frida will go join Rooopert. Kahol is waiting usually she is found in one of the nesting boxes. I have to toss her out before I leave to get her share of breakfast.
Beauty is last and really she just regally hops out potters under the hen house then saunters over to the rest of the flock.

Of course there is the bickering and clucking of the girls when someone gets something one of the higher up the pecking order have not. Or when Roopert shows his Girls a special treat he has found for them. He also is a rooster and he does his roosterly duties, this will make a scene for the girls who do not want his advances. A run around the run occurs feathers and dust flowing.

Having chooks is not all happy life on the homestead, even when you only have hens fights occur.

I have been getting some double yolk eggs which takes me back to my childhood.

it is not hard caring for them, let them out in the morning feed them lovely food for great eggs, giving shell grit and ensuring they have little stones gravel for their gizzards. Keeping an eye on their feathers around their vents, and for any injuries or damage. Ensuring no mights. Fresh water and clean bedding regularly cool areas under trees. For such wonderful renumeration.

I have trimmed their wings to try and keep them in the run, but they still escape. It does look as if something untoward occurred there, and sounded like it as I left them in the hen house and grabbed each one to attend to their feathers. They still manage to get out. Sigh.

This was taken in September 2020 in the paddock area, not in the run. Still happening.

Free Range 100%.
There is something so beautiful about having hens in my life again. I really enjoy their antics most of the time. Even the crowing in the wee small hours. Good quality ear plugs.

One of my neighbours found three chicks when he went out to his run this morning they are so cute.
Another neighbour has bantams and has just got his gals a rooster.

Homesteading is all around me, summer is here and I am so thankful for my hens, my neighbours, eggs, and pretty full water tanks.

The end of a hot day and a warm night ahead, and all is settled, water bowls and bird baths all full for overnight visitors. A clear sky and stillness settling over my home.

blessings to You all Tazzie

December 14, 2020 10

Managing my little acre.

Sometimes in my garden things just grow. I have an area of land that is a small paddock and when my wattle trees (acacias) flower they drop their seeds and a sapling will grow. I had one come up last year and I left it as it blocks wind on two plum trees without shading them.

This year another sapling grew. I watched it and realised that it would end up shading my vegetable garden and hazelnuts bushes. I had also noted that in my native area, where many acacias had self seeded some were very scrawny and others had become too big shading some of the other natives and bird attracting flowering shrubs I had planted.

I made the really hard decision to take several trees out. There was no point in just pruning them as wattles grow rapidly and tall. I made sure that no birds had began nesting in any of the sapplings (they were not big trees) as I could not have removed them if they had. Then with my hand pruning saw I removed them.

As hard as it was I know it was the best thing for the plants that are already in the garden. That they will have their needs met. With more space I can put in some smaller shrubs that will feed the native birds, bees, animals and bugs.

I want my garden to be a place where every creature can live in harmony and have access to water and food.
I made errors where I put fruit trees years ago, and now the two blackwood (Acacia melanoxylon) have grown huge, even though my partner pruned the tops off them years ago. I love them as do the birds. The bees when these two are in blossom (and they have been lately) have been loving them too. This growth has also added to altering where the sun falls on areas of my garden. I have had no hakea flowers this year and my hakea is a pin cushion one which I love. I realise now that it has probably been planted in the incorrect position all those years ago. It is to large to move now and I will hope that it will have its amazing flowers next year.

I guess no matter how well you plan your garden, and how tall or wide the label or nursery person says the small tree /shrub you are buying will be. It will all depend on the situation you put it and what you plant near it or where you plant it near. How young other areas of your garden are, and like me the seeds that germinate and you let grow. That will make you face the choice of removing it.

I have some more pruning of some trees to undertake. With the forecast for the next five days to be back to winter temperatures and snow to 800m it may be the perfect time to undertake this. There are several trees growing on the old dam wall Chrysanthemoides monilifera ssp. monilifera

a very pretty looking shrub/tree when it is in flower. As it is now. I
https://dpipwe.tas.gov.au/invasive-species/weeds/weeds-index/declared-weeds-index/boneseed

have noticed it has spread up our little road and around a dam further up. They are small and I will attempt to get them tomorrow. My own and I think there are two. I would like to remove them before they set seed.
As a land holder it is my responsibility to remove those on my land. The spread of these shrubs trees is really noticeable this year, along the river. This means that next year if they are allowed to seed it will be worse. They impact our native forests under story destroying the natural diversity. They also can become a huge fire hazard.
I can not pull the trees out I have to prune them, bag them and then treat the stump with a herbicide. As pulling a mature tree/shrub out will disturb the seeds and create more. Thought the seedlings pull out really easily.

I do believe many people who buy many acres of land with bush to homestead on may be unaware that they have responsibility for weed management, and land care. On top of attending fencing, stock, vegetables, fruit trees, gardens, normal family life, and work, this will add substantial time to being on your homestead and caring for it. Something to think about.

If like me you are on a small income, and have a little patch of paradise. Or you dream of it, begin where you are. Grow things in pots, if you rent. If you are buying a flat or unit and it has a balcony grow a garden out on it. You will learn so much.

If you have a garden no matter how small get out there and begin. As if you expect to move to land, you need to know some things, and just reading and watching Youtubers is not enough.

I look at a neighbour down the road, two properties away. He has an amazing garden, he is 91 he walks every day, he grows his own vegetables and fruit. He created his own amazing water collecting set up. Yet his garden has very different microclimates to mine. Next door has too.

I have found over time that I have to look at my own place, how the sun moves, and how the garden changes year to year. How when I first moved here the garden was fine in the front area, but now it would get too much heat and wind if it were still in that location. I moved it when I had to have my French Drain replaced.

I am waiting for some people to come and remove some of the blackberries of my land and then I will remove some more very sad and sick wattles. My neighbour and I are thinking of potential a lovely native bird and butterfly area on the bit in between our two properties.

The garden is never the same year to year. Some years the rain is perfect and the tomatoes are fantastic, others are a bad year. Similar for the fruit trees. You do the preparation and you tend as best you can.

I love it, it is addictive this growing your own food. I try not to eat (fresh) tomatoes form now until my own are ripe..I am laughing at this as the seeds are not even up yet. It makes my mouth water at the thought of that first red tomato (or green or black depending on the variety) that I pick smelling of sunshine warm to the touch and cut or bit into it, juices running down my fingers and that flavour. HMMmm.

I have picked stunning sweet juicy broadbeans the last two days. The pods were straining with the swollen seeds. I just ate them raw. Delicious!
Similarly I was eating rocket and coriander leaves as I was walking about the veggie garden and one asparagus spear. The joy of my garden. Rocket is flowering, as is the coriander and my sprouting broccoli. All I will let produce seeds. I aim to harvest the majority of them as I am not sure I want them all just popping up everywhere as I have so much to plant out soon. Fingers crossed

Where ever you are, I do hope you are able to grow some herbs or greens, at least have access to fresh local vegetables at a reasonable price. I know how much better I feel when I eat lots of fresh veggies and fruit.

I am so thankful for all I have and for you.

blessings to You, Tazzie

September 23, 2020 6

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